The World’s Oldest Woman Claims To Have Eaten This Food Every Day Of Her Life (Hint: Rhymes With Shmacon)

by 2 years ago

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It seems like every other day, ‘scientists’ and ‘experts’ are trying to ruin everything we love. Just this week, we learned that hot dogs are humans, steak gives you cancer, and listening to Justin Bieber’s new song shrinks your dick by up to an inch and a half.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

Well, that was before the world’s oldest woman vouched for something we all hold near and dear to our hearts: bacon.

116-year-old Susannah Mushatt Jones of Brooklyn, New York was recently awarded the title of world’s oldest woman by Guinness World Records–or in other words, the ‘Congratulations for Not Dying’ award.

According to Distractify, Susannah has survived this long due to adequate sleep and eating a daily breakfast of eggs, grits, and four strips of bacon. (She also hasn’t drank or smoked her entire life but erroneous, erroneous on all accounts.)

Oh ya, add this fact onto another win for bacon.

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It’s basically a vegetable.

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