Burger King Just Took A Frosty Dr. Pepper Flavored Dump On Humanity With Their New Milkshake

Technology-driven innovation’s rewarding us some unanticipated and strange things guys. I mean besides this Dr. Pepper shake, just today we learned that YouTube’s comin’ in hot on developing the technology necessary to enjoy 360-degree video live-streams from our homes. The days of breaking your bank to load up the car with booze and all other manners of ingestible madness as you set out for a brain-decimating, seriously overpriced weekend festival are coming to a close. Pretty soon you’ll be able to enjoy Coachella or Sasquatch or Bonnaroo with twice the amount of booze and drugs ’cause you didn’t have to throw down a fat steaming pile of Benjamins for damn festival wristband-tickets that usually end up way too tight, and cutting off the circulation of blood in your arms.

Anyways, back to more important things like you,your phone, and the nearest pinpoint for a Burger King. Honestly, who’s to say whether this won’t end up an epic 23 different kinds of disastrous failed experiment, like that one time at Laser Tag when your friends convinced you to combine all the sodas to create a ‘graveyard.’ But for those of you that enjoy the finer, more distinguished, efficient arterie-clogging pleasures in life like Dr. Pepper floats this sick(ening) limited edition frosty will for sure get the job done.