If you're headed out on a date, then chances are you're going to stop off for some grub at some point during the night. Of course, we all know it pays to make a good first impression when it comes to wooing the ladies. As such, if you want to impress a date and get through the night with minimal chances of embarrassing yourself, then here are seven types of food you'll want to avoid.
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Let's face it, it's hard to turn on the charm when your face is covered in BBQ sauce. No matter how careful you are, there are just some foods that are guaranteed to make you look like a slovenly, uncivilized eater. Top offenders include BBQ ribs, spaghetti, nachos, Philly cheese steaks, and soup with devilishly long noodles. As a general rule of thumb, you might consider avoiding finger foods altogether, instead opting for an establishment that offers a fine dining experience that includes a knife and fork.
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A first date is not the time to take advantage of your two-for-one Big Mac deal at McDonalds. While it's certainly not necessary to take your new lady out to a five-star establishment, it's pretty safe to say that hitting up the drive-thru is far from a romantic dining experience. After all, if you're trying to set the mood for a little after-hours lovemaking, there's no worse way to do it than by offering your date a picturesque window view of the children's ball pit.
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What goes in must come out – and when it comes to some types of food, the time-line for exit is vastly accelerated. Unless you want to be masking farts all night or trying to explain why you keep visiting the bathroom, then it's probably a good idea to avoid the bean burrito from your favorite Mexican restaurant. Of course, burritos aren't the only flatulence-inducing entrees out there. Other potential danger foods you might want to avoid include chili, Asian curries, and other dairy-based food products.
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Hey, inviting your new lady over for a home-cooked meal might be a good way to impress her with your cooking skills. That is, unless your plan is to get a little help from Lean Cuisine. Simply put, TV dinners taste like crap. Add in the fact that they come at bargain basement prices, and that little lady of yours is sure to think you’re a super cheapskate that isn't worth her time.
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There will be plenty of time to show off your eating skills once you get a little more familiar with your lady friend. When it comes to introductions, however, it may be a bit of a turnoff to see you going back for that fourth serving of apple pie. Of course, overeating isn't an exclusive concern to buffets -– there are plenty of restaurants out there that give you way more food than any sensible, intelligent and attractive young guy should ever publicly put away. As such, be mindful of food portions to make sure you don't come off as a glutton.
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What's wrong with spinach? At first glance, nothing -– but when you get back home at the end of the night to see that gross piece of green stuck to your front tooth you'll know exactly why she didn't seem to have a very good time. Of all the foods out there, spinach is perhaps the most notorious for getting stuck in your teeth. Cilantro, pesto, and other green food products are also highly dangerous.
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If there's one sure way to kill any chances of getting a kiss at the end of the night, it's by eating onions. Truly, there is no bigger cock block in the food world than this smelly (albeit delicious) vegetable. Of course, you'll also want to avoid the onion's bastard brother -– garlic. No matter what you eat, it may be a good idea to keep a stick of gum or other breath refresher on hand just to make sure your breath isn't going to keep you from getting a little action at night's end.
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(Originally published on January 8, 2012.)