2013 Dick Nick Championships Elite 8: Which Athlete’s Nickname is the Best Euphemism for a Penis?

Who has the better Dick Nick?

Pocket Hercules and The Muscle Hamster throw size out the window in a highly anticipated battle of grit and determination.

Who has the better Dick Nick?

Be sure not to blink as the battle for basketball dominance comes down to a contest between the swing of a hammer and the strike of a snake.

Who has the better Dick Nick?

The Hebrew Hammer looks to dent the Missile’s shaft in a heated sprint to the Final Four.

Who has the better Dick Nick?

Can Crankshaft dissect his opponent into impotent pieces, or will a well-oiled Reim transform into an unstoppable juggernaut? A berth in the Final Four comes down to a War of the Machines.

In loving memory of:

2013 Dick Nick Championships: Round 3 Circumcisions

NBA Region

13) Chauncey Billups: “Mr. Big Shot”

14) Matt Bonner: “Red Rocket”

NFL Region

5) Ben Roethlisberger: “Big Ben”                             

6) Marshawn Lynch: “Beast Mode”

MLB Region

11) Lance Berkman: “Fat Elvis”

16) Adam Dunn: “The Big Donkey”

NHL Region

6) Jason Pominville: “The Mayor”

9) Martin Biron: “Baby Dominator”