Alex Rodriguez has said and done a lot of weird things in his career — like the sexually explicit way he dries off a wet bat — but this kooky craze to steal the walk-off batter’s helmet is, by far, the most bizarre.
Is A-Rod doing this for superstitious purposes? He wants some luck to rub off on him? I guess I could wrap my head around that. But, the degree of intensity that he does it with is just snake-like slithery bewildering. This is a grown man who can’t enjoy a fellow teammate’s game-winning ding-dong. Instead, he must play his own personal version of Pokemon Go with batting helmets. Gotta catch ’em all, Alex? Come on.
Sprinting after chucked helmets. Snatching away helmets from coworkers. All with a humongoid grin on his grill. I wish I could blame CTE. Maybe it’s Ken Griffey Jr.’s fault for pranking A-Rod into donating sperm when Alex was just an 18-year-old rookie. Or maybe Rodriguez, a man who likes to watch Dave Navarro get head live on Skype, blew his logic rod a long time ago.
Oh, and how fitting was it for the skies to open up and piss all over A-Rod’s retirement ceremony? Mother Nature was not having that.
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