Poor Astros Fan Gets Drilled In The Face Attempting To Catch A Home Run Ball And We Can’t Help But Laugh

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It’s actually a good thing that his glasses shattered in 234 pieces because at least now he won’t be able to see all the people pointing and laughing. Poor bastard was probably just trying to catch a homer for his sick kid at home, but ended up having to leave his car in the lot and take the bus home empty handed because he’s legally blind and incapable of driving without his lenses. And to be skewered and made a spectacle by asshole worthless bloggers like myself? Might as well be hawking a loogie on this dude’s grave. Probably a good man, a good dad, a tax payer. I’m literally none of those three things and here I am hiding behind a keyboard screaming ‘hey guys, look at this IDIOT!’ Granted, someone will probably call me a “mouth-breathing dickface” in the comment section of this post, so it’s all good. The world is back in balance.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.