Who Is The Bigger Bro: Bryce Harper Or Noah Syndergaard

Baseball is the sport of Bros. Dip packing, beer drinking, dinger smacking bros (both home runs and locker room bag tags). But who in baseball is the most Bro? Our two editors get in a heated debate about Noah Syndergaard vs. Bryce Harper.

David: Bryce Harper is baseball’s biggest bro. What do bros do? They have fun. What baseball player started a league wide campaign to make his entire sport fun again? Not some blonde named “Nora” on the Mets! No. It was Bryce Harper.

While I could add one thousand other points that continue to make my case, I’ll stop there, for now.

Nick: Wearing a hat with the words “Make Baseball Fun Again” does not make a man a spokesperson for an entire group, David. There’s some guy named Donald Trump who… OK, that’s a completely different conversation. The point is, Noah Syndergaard HAS fun. Need I remind you of his blunt puffing in the Mets’ dugout earlier this season?

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Oh, and that hair! Harper might have a nice little metrosexual coiffe going on, but you know what’s bro? Not giving a damn and intimidating opponents with Thor-like locks. Even Syndergaard’s hair threatens opposing batters. The man throws 100 miles per hour and sissy batters are complaining about his flow.

David: Oh, you mean hair like this? You mean hair like this?!? You mean hair like this!?!?

David: I’m sorry, if the argument is whose got the better hair, sure, there’s something to be said for looking like you could be an extra in Point Break, but there’s a lot more to be said for actually looking good.

But, OK, correct. Bryce bought a hat. Have you seen the stuff Bryce Harper’s done? Your boy Noah has one skill. Throwing heat—and pretending to smoke pot. Last I checked pretending wasn’t cool. Bryce makes diving catches, steals bases, hits for power. That’s savage.

Nick: Fine, let’s get away from Syndergaard’s best baseball hair and focus on some of the moves my dude Noah does off the field that makes him the biggest bro in baseball.

Things like, I don’t know, living up to his nickname by dressing up as Thor and walking the streets of New York in full costume.

David: OK, so you laugh at a hat, but break out a costume?

Also, when Bryce’s pitcher teammates plunks someone with a pitch, he speaks up!

Nick: Harper’s teammates also like choking him out, David, so let’s not paint Bryce to be everyone’s best friend.

Syndergaard, though? His mates love him. Hell, dude even lives with one of his guys from the Mets! And if it’s power you’re looking for, well, yeah, Noah Syndergaard does that, too!

David: True. Harper’s teammate did strangle him…after he said to him, “Please don’t throw at batters, because then I get hit with a pitch.” Don’t think that’s very reflective of his character. They’ve also gotten along just fine ever since. Putting things in the past is hella bro.

And every other teammate says they love Bryce.

And since we’re talking outfits still, have you seen Harper’s t-shirt collection? What’s more bro these days than wearing good tees?

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Nick: OK, I’ll give you Bryce’s t-shirt collection. That’s pretty dope. But Syndergaard names his gloves to actually give them some character, that’s just as cool, in my opinion.

Noah Syndergaard’s out here showing up to spring training on horseback, being unapologetic about throwing heat up and in on batters and bro’ing out over margaritas with his mom—who he’s helping fight Sjogren’s Syndrome. Taking care of mama is always a major league bro move.

David: Well, Bryce also loves the same danky, down to earth bro food all good dudes do. Have you seen his Instagram? It’s burgers, fried chicken sandwiches, tacos and doughnuts. Bro’s just a chill bro who, outside of baseball, likes to have a good time with his boys.

David: OK, so you wanna just flip a coin to settle this debate?

Nick: We could always play rock, paper, scissors? Best of three?