If you watch Silicon Valley (spoiler to follow) you know that Sunday night’s episode ended with a guy basically recording his own demise as he fell off a cliff while trying to remove the Pied Piper camera from the cave where it was live-streaming a condor egg. Meanwhile, the Pied Piper guys looked on, watching in horror. And then making jokes about the situation, because they’re heartless cocksuckers. But that’s why we love them.
That’s not exactly what happened to Billy Marrone, a guy who was competing in his first triathlon at the EXTERRA Triathlon 2015 in Laguna Beach, Ca, on May 31, 2015, but HOLY SHIT it is close. He didn’t fall off a cliff, but he did almost die when a freak bike accident during the competition threw him from his bike and his landing consisted of him face-planting on a fucking rock.
Since Marrone was wearing a GoPro throughout his entire harrowing, near-death experience, he decided to turn his lemony situation into lemonade (and possible Internet $$$$) by uploading the video to YouTube and then emailing it to us.
Per Billy Marrone’s email:
On 31 May 2015 I attempted my first triathlon at the EXTERRA Triathlon 2015 in Laguna Beach, Ca. Towards the end of the bike portion of the race, I hit a soft patch of sand that send me flying over 25 feet. I landed face first on a rock and was airlifted to the Trauma Center at Mission Hospital. I suffered a Sprained Wrist, Broken Tail Bone, and a Traumatic Brain Injury. I am now on cognitive rest for 3 weeks and cannot drive, work, exercise, or be alone for more than an hour until I recover.
Get well soon, Billy.