The Chicago Cubs’ Insane New Clubhouse Is Basically A High-End Nightclub Without Chicks

The Chicago Cubs returned home after a flight from Phoenix to a newly-renovated clubhouse fit for a party hosted by Scott Disick and Johnny Manziel. The 30,000 square foot space is the second largest in the Big Leagues and includes an expanded locker room, strength and conditioning center, training areas, offices and a lounge, as well as a media center, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Jon Lester noted a small technological hiccup upon entering the Club.

“None of us know where the door to get in, where we’re supposed to put our fingerprints. I think that’s the biggest concern for all of us.”

This is a far cry from the 11,000-foot hallway of a clubhouse the Cubs were previously accustomed to, one of the smallest clubhouses in the MLB. My little league team had more amenities than this and we sucked.

The Cubs are also building a 200-seat auditorium for players and team officials that has yet to be complete. The visiting locker room will remain unchanged.

[h/t Chicago Tribune]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.