While I was watching Cam Newton run for his dear life from Von Miller and Demarcus Ware I was stuffing my face with bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers, pigs in a blanket, pizza, and washing it all down with beer.
It’s safe to say that I woke up feeling like the Pillsbury Doughboy this morning. Not a good look. Especially when you’re supposed to be a pillar of health and fitness.
Hopefully you went hard in the paint with food yesterday just like I did. And if you did, you probably hate life today. That’s cool. There’s nothing more American than stuffing yourself with horrible-for-you food to the point of self-hatred. It’s an American pastime, really.
Luckily I’ve got your back with a badass-conditioning workout you can knock out this evening to start making up for some of those calories you threw back yesterday.
I’m a huge fan of conditioning workouts that involve weights and full body workouts for a few reasons:
1 – You don’t feel like you’re bored to death like most people do when they run on the treadmill.
2 – We care about looking good naked, and doing moves that build muscle make that happen quicker than anything else.
3 – They help you take advantage of the EPOC phenomenon, which essentially means you’re burning calories during the training session, but burning through a ton more after the session.
The best part about this conditioning workout is that it involves zero running. All you need is a barbell, pull-up bars, and a couple of dumbbells.
Also, keep a trashcan nearby. You may need it. Jalapeno poppers don’t taste as good coming back up, just fyi.
Circuit 1:
- Goblet squat x12 reps
- Push-up x10 reps
- Dumbbell Romanian deadlift x10 reps
*4 rounds, resting 60 seconds between each round
Circuit 2:
- Barbell push press x10 reps
- Pull-up x10 reps (or failure, whichever comes first)
- Bird dog x8 reps each side
*4 rounds, resting 60 seconds between each round
Circuit 3:
- Burpee x10 reps
- Jumping lunges x20 reps each side
*4 rounds, resting 30 seconds between each round
All in all this brutal shit show shouldn’t take you longer than about 20 minutes. Be smart about the weight you choose with the squats, Romanian deadlifts, and push-presses. They shouldn’t be absurdly heavy.
Also, be sure you’re sticking to the rest periods. It’s going to suck, and you’re going to feel like your lungs are on fire. That’s the point.