The average baseball game runs for a shade over three hours. The amount of actual action hovers around 18 minutes. With over two and a half hours of downtime, how can you not talk about fucking your wife? It’s more amazing to me that Tim McCarver and Dick Enberg have carved out nice careers for themselves without mention of even fingering their wives, nevermind boning them. I mean, Dick, you’re name is Dick. You already have a headstart into the conversation. Be better.
But Schilling, like a bat of of hell, completely without cue or laughter from his co-announcers, gives the American people a glimpse into the bedroom of a three-time World Series champion and his bombshell of a wife. Fuck Jason Heyward’s home run count, how many times have you went yard, Schilling? We should grab a beer sometime. Have your wife bring a friend.