The Meth Epidemic Is So Widespread Even The Horses Are Taking It (And Winning Races Afterward!)

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I don’t know much about meth, but I imagine if you took two humans of similar stature, strength and endurance, and gave one meth, then asked them to perform a variety of physical activities, I think the one on meth would win.

As the old saying goes, what’s true of humans is true of horses.

(No. It’s a real saying. Think about it. Like how shoes are better for your feet, and if people whip you, you are likely to work faster.)

You think they just invented horse whipping? Nah, they saw how well it worked on humans.

Regardless, someone is giving horses meth, and they are winning the shit out of races.

Kellyn Gorder is a well-regarded thoroughbred trainer. Bourbon Warfare won a maiden race for him at Churchill Downs on Nov. 22, 2014. The horse was drug tested and came back for a trace of methamphetamine.

“Trace” should be taken literally. A picogram is one-­trillionth of a gram. Split samples are taken in drug testing of racehorses. Bourbon Warfare’s first split came back at 57 picograms and the second at 48 picograms.

He was given a year long suspension. Now, it’s happening again.

The stewards at Canterbury Park and the racing commission appear ready to take similar action against Mac Robertson, the most prominent and successful trainer at the Shakopee horse track.

Again, this is based on a trace of meth being found in a winning horse: Purest Form on June 7 in a $7,500 claiming race. It was the favorite and paid $6 to win.

A couple of weeks later, Robertson was summoned to a meeting with the stewards. He was told Purest Form had tested positive for meth.

That meth came back at 74 picograms. Clearly, it’s working. These meth horses keep winning. But most (reasonable) people speculate its not enough to make a difference.

“Forty-eight picograms of meth isn’t enough to get a flea high,” [Dr. Steven Barker, a professor of veterinary medicine at LSU] said.

Everyone’s best guess about where this little bit of meth is coming from? Junkie stable boys touching the horses after getting high and not washing their hands.

No, really. Or something along those lines.

[H/T Death and Taxes]