Hot Royals Fan Bare Hands Foul Ball, Gives It To A Kid, Then Demands It Back

If I catch a foul ball, it’s mine. No one else deserves it but me. Especially if I bare hand it with one hand, I am the rightful owner. Some little shit kid isn’t going to come with his baseball mitt and his sad puppy eyes and guilt me into giving him what I earned. Being a kid is already cool as shit. It’s completely acceptable to mooch off your parents, birthday parties have goodie bags, and you get to ball out at recess. I am neck deep in credit card debt, I haven’t seen my abs in six years, and if I’m going to a baseball game, I’m paying for the seat. I need this souvenir you spoiled little brat.

But if you’re going to play hero and toss a kid a ball, that’s your decision. Live with the consequences. Granted, the little squid didn’t even say thank you, but that’s the risk you take when you try to play God. Have an ounce of integrity, sweetheart.

P.S. How bout the newscaster in the video: “attractive young girl.” Put your dick away, pal. Leave the creep comments to the creep bloggers.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.