Getty Image / Getty
This story about how Baker Reagan Mayfield was named Baker Reagan Mayfield hits home. And it doesn’t just hit home for me, I am sure it hits home for millions of men and women who have had the daunting task of naming their child. But especially men, because we always wind up taking the loss since we’re not the ones who have to be pregnant for nine months. We’re just the ones who have to fucking deal with all the “look what this pregnancy has done to my body” complaints for nine months. SO MUCH FUN!
Now, of course naming a child is easy for some people. If both parents immediately agree on the name you’re gold. But picking a name can be especially daunting when you just can’t see eye-to-eye and every name suggestion seems worse than the last. That’s when you are forced down the path of compromise. And by “compromise,” I mean “the man caves to the wife’s choice and he gets to pick the middle name as a consolation prize.” That is what happened to me, and it is also what happened to Baker Mayfield’s dad. Although I don’t think he even realized that is what was happening to him.
While (former Oklahoma coach Bob) Stoops was building his name in Norman, Baker Mayfield was doing the same at Lake Travis High, west of Austin. Well, really, he already had an outstanding name: Baker Mayfield. A name that could belong only to a quarterback—or perhaps to a historically significant tariff ratified in the 1880s. James had an old teammate named Baker, and while Gina loved the name, James didn’t. James said the only way he’d go for Baker would be if the boy’s middle name were Reagan, after the 40th president. He didn’t think Gina would bite. But she did. And so Baker Reagan Mayfield was born.
While the excerpt above makes it seem like James Mayfield had a small victory, deep down he has to know he didn’t win shit. Even I know a middle name is pretty much worthless unless the kid wants to ditch his first name and go by his middle name. I mean, of course Gina agreed! Are you fucking kidding me? She probably jumped on that offer immediately while saying to herself, “Oh you want the middle name? The one that literally means nothing at all? Sure, dipshit. You can have that.”
[H/T FTW via Sports Illustrated]