With the Super Bowl just days away it’s easy to tell who’s genuinely excited about the game and who doesn’t give a hot shit. Actually, you can probably tell who those people are at any point in the year because they never mention sports once. Ever.
Because the Super Bowl being the third biggest party night of the year, there are more than a couple million people watching the game “just because” everyone else is watching the game. Those people really don’t give a shit about the game, about sports, or about anything really. They just want to hang around other humans.
Luckily, for those who want to give a crap about sports — at least for a couple hours during the Super Bowl — there’s a pill available that will turn anyone into a sports fan. Just watch out for those side effects.