NBA Great James Worthy Basically Foams At The Mouth After Seeing A Hot Lakers Cheerleader Dance

That, my friends, is the look a three-time NBA champion makes when he realizes that his playing days are behind him and the cheerleaders are no longer lining up at his locker room. It’s like you and I going back to college after our metabolism has slowed down and we can no longer pull prime tail off the simple fact that we won an Intramural championship. Despite being a seven time All-Star, Worthy, like you and I, now lives a life of being stuck behind a desk, waiting until the clock strikes 5 so we can head to our local watering hole to drown ourselves in regret and missed opportunity. Being on a hard wood now has a whole different meaning. James Worthy is us. We are James Worthy. Spank Bank rich with no liquidity. Sad.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.