Not being a huge fan of sports in general, I didn’t know who Jose Canseco was until he appeared on The Celebrity Apprentice in all of his “durr” glory. I didn’t judge him for his performance on the show though. It’s reality television, a lot of times they edit people to make them look dumber than they are, right? So I cut him some slack.
…but then I stumbled upon the literal goldmine that was his Reddit AMA.
It’s amazing. It’s beautiful. It’s everything I’ve ever wished for and more, except Jose Canseco is the idiot gift your estranged father won’t stop giving you because now he’s ranting on Twitter about comets and shit. That’s honestly the best summary I can give you, because it’s largely unintelligible. He thinks we should turn comets into taxis so we can take control of the Milky Way?
Comet Transport is the key to our survival .
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 13, 2014
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Galactic Beings have used comets as star taxis for eons — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 13, 2014
Comets are faster than anything we could ever build and have their own power solving are two problems
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 13, 2014
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Opens up new business like galaxy touring cruising, asteroid mining, interstellar trade, and planet colonies — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 13, 2014
If Earth can control the comet transport system we will run the Milkyway. Think about that
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 13, 2014
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I wasn’t aware that the Milky Way needed controlling, but whatever.
[H/T Death and Taxes]