The Costume Police Is Butt Hurt About LeBron James Posting A Picture Of His Friend Dressed As A Murderer For Halloween

It’s Halloween and you know what that means–the Costume Police are working overtime to bring online justice and world peace to the world. It’s 2016 and there are like four costumes that aren’t racist, sexist, or insensitive. I’m 29 years old, and I still don’t know why the Indian costume is taboo. A detailed Indian costume is fucking badass. But I guess it’s not right to appropriate them because we have an enormous amount of guilt for our early settlers brutally executing them and destroying their culture. But of course we have no problem taking off Columbus Day from work. We care, but like not like toooo much.

Looking through my social justice lens, I can see how LeBron posting a picture of his friend in full murderer garb is totally out of line. It’s the equivalent of an Aaron Hernandez costume. Except O.J. got away with it. But looking through the lens of ‘it’s Halloween and it’s a joke and we are all dust floating in the wind and nothing really matters’ lens, it’s fucking hilarious. Best costume of the decade.

 

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.