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Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gone are the days when I could throw on my freshest NBA jersey over my And 1 “If you had my game, you’d still have your girl” t-shirt and roam the mall catching eyes with babes before filling up on free Chinese samples in the food court. Well, I could, but now I’d be a walking billboard.
20 teams have signed deals with corporations to feature patches on their jerseys this season, the first year of a three-year pilot program by the NBA. Sure it will bring in over $100 million in revenue for teams and drive up the salary cap. Yeah, the patches can be no longer than 2.5 inches by 2.5 inches. But, I don’t need to see Joel Embiid posterizing someone with a StubHub patch staring me down. Or The Greek Freak flying through the air with a Harley Davidson patch. I prefer my basketball jerseys like I prefer my whiskey–pure, un-doctored.
The latest team to jump on the patch craze is the Los Angeles Clippers.
LA Clippers
According to ESPN, the Clippers will sport a Bumble dating app patch on their jersey’s in Tuesday night’s game against the New Orleans Pelicans. For those unfamiliar with Bumble, it’s exactly like Tinder, but after you match, the girl must contact you first within 24 hours or the match disappears. So, it eliminates the unsolicited dick pics. Well, most of them. The Clippers are calling the Bumble logo on the uniform an “empowerment badge,” vowing to promote gender equality.
“We wanted to do something where we could really stand out and do something meaningful,” Clippers owner Steve Ballmer said. “The way it is positioned it becomes part of the game, so it’s an opportunity to have more meaning for everybody.”
As ESPN notes, the Clippers organization is very female-heavy in its front office. Gillian Zucker is the NBA’s only female president of business operations, and the chief financial officer, director of business development, director of strategic partnerships, vice president of community relations and player programs, and lead general counsel are all female.
“If all you are doing is selling ad space, that’s not a bad thing,” Ballmer said. “But if we are going a step further and building joint experiences with our sponsors that allow us to bring alive what we do and they do, you can’t do better than that.”
Which NBA team has the balls to throw a PornHub patch on their jerseys. Because whatever team that is, they’ll earn themselves a new fan.
[h/t ESPN]