NFL Suspends Wes Welker Because He Took Some Bad MDMA

USA Today

You and I are free to pop whatever pills people place in our hands. We may worry that the shit might kill us, but usually, at a festival or something, our biggest concern isn’t, “What if this is laced with something my employer tests for?”

Unfortunately for the Broncos’ Wes Welker, that is exactly what just happened. Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio is reporting that at the Kentucky Derby this year, Welker took Molly cut with amphetamines and failed a subsequent drug test. (Although according to Pro Football Talk, both substances are banned, so it wouldn’t have mattered if his shit was uncut.)

Per a league source, the banishment under the PED policy happened because Welker took MDMA, a banned substance under the substance-abuse policy, that had been cut with amphetamines, a banned substance under the PED policy.

Meanwhile, Deadspin is reporting that his MDMA (which technically is classified as an amphetamine, but not a performance enhancing one) would have had to been cut with something else to trigger a PED suspension.

A lot of people are noting that MDMA is an amphetamine. True! But that would trigger the NFL’s recreational drug policy, not its PED policy. So there is a different type of amphetamine in play here.

Anyway, let’s face it. Dude is clearly guilty.

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[Image via USA Today]