Here’s Our Official Opening Day Drinking Game

One (1) drink for every:

  • Base-hit
  • Run
  • Strikeout

Two (2) drinks for every:

  • Home run
  • Error
  • Double play
  • Botched hit-and-run
  • Instance of creepy camera work to find babes in the bleachers
  • Comment about the Miami Marlins’ disastrous offseason
  • Claim that Terry Francona will bring “energy” to the Indians
  • Announcer claiming to love ballpark food
  • Kid in crowd picking nose
  • Lame joke that a player who is 1-for-1 is batting 1.000 on the year

Three (3) drinks for every:

  • Announcer actually eating ballpark food on-air
  • Suicide squeeze
  • Out recorded past the fifth inning of a no-hitter
  • Triple
  • Steal
  • Successful hit-and-run
  • Intentional walk
  • Comment by announcer about how good it is that baseball’s back
  • Time the Houston Astros switching leagues is brought up

Four (4) drinks for every:

  • Reference to the World Baseball Classic (be careful)
  • Overblown praise for Derek Jeter
  • Mention of the Toronto Blue Jays' big offseason
  • Mention of Bryce Drew
  • Use of the phrase “flashing the leather”
  • Allusion to the use of bunting as a decoration
  • Time Stephen Strasburg's pitch count is discussed
  • Overly theatrical strike three call from an umpire
  • Blown call by an umpire

Chug a beer for every:

  • Bench-clearing brawl
  • Manager or player ejection
  • Inside-the-park home run