Student’s Killer Crossover Dislocates His Teacher’s Knee In Front Of Entire School During Student-Faculty Basketball Game

As bloggers, we often have to exaggerate our takes and speak in hyperbole to add jazz up the content. But I come to you with a truthful question: where does Mr. Gillespie go from here? Does he hobble into class on Monday knowing that the entire school just witnessed his knee combusting from a piss ant student? Does he change his name and catch the first flight out to the Congo where they don’t have internet? Does Mr. G go back to Summer Heights High? Sounds ridiculous but remember how ruthless we all were as middle schoolers? One time my Social Studies class decided to put a tac on Mr. Chesterton’s chair. She deserved no such treatment and she was no younger than 80. Imagine Mr. G trying to discipline a student when they know he’s walking paper mache. What the fuck is he going to do during fire drills? Them shits were like twice a week in middle school. A lot of questions, not a lot of answers.

Whatever path Mr. G choose, E:60 needs to make a documentary about it–Mr. Gillespie’s Road to Recovery or some shit. Maybe have the students sign a giant photo of a knee and give it to him as the ‘aww’ moment. This story is unraveling before our eyes and I kneed to see how it plays out.

Now Watch: 30-Year-Old High School Basketball Player Gets Arrested


[h/t Uproxx]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.