Would You Survive After Eating This Thanksgiving Dish Served At The Cowboys Game?

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I’m as big a football guy as the next guy, but I cannot rationalize spending Thanksgiving anywhere else than on my parents’ reclining sofa in my elastic waistband joggers and slippers waiting for my mom to hand me my next course. Beer in hand. Football on TV. Waiting for my high school weed guy to text me back after 10 years. He’s gotta still be living in his mom’s place. That scenario is what I expect eternity to look like after I pass.

I never understood the allure of going to an NFL game during Turkey Day, unless the picture I just painted isn’t in the cards for you. Football is the worst spectator sport, the parking lots are always a nightmare to escape, and you’re going to need a Benjamin Franklin in your wallet to even get a buzz on. But, to each his own.

Some fans in Dallas are stoked to attend Thursday’s annual Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving game against the Los Angeles Chargers. Dallas is offering a little taste of home on Thursday with it’s “Texas-Style Dressing Holiday Meal.”

The monstrosity  includes (per press release):

A Texas-shaped waffle made from traditional stuffing, topped with homemade mashed potatoes, a choice of roasted turkey breast or Petit Jean smoked pit ham, fresh green beans and homemade cranberry sauce. This meal is stacked high and slathered with turkey giblet gravy.

I literally got diarrhea just reading that.

This isn’t the only Thanksgiving-inspired offerings the Cowboys will serve tomorrow. Other menu items include turkey and pumpkin pie, flatbreads topped with butternut squash, and kale and spiced pecan-caramel gelato.

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[h/t For The Win]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.