The Moments That Made Us Love Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart


It’s difficult to actually dislike Bret “The Hitman” Hart, the wrestler. The seven-time world champion, better known as the “Excellence of Execution,” was exactly that — his matches wound tighter than Randy Savage’s bandanna, with every move delivered seamlessly, so rarely accompanied by a botch or misstep.

While some might say The Hitman had a rather vanilla-like presence on the mic, one wrapped in pepto pink and black — and a guy far too entrenched within the limitless height of his own technique — he did give Vince McMahon a concussion. And really, what wrestler in the entire history of the sport, probably even Shane’O Mac, wouldn’t want to lay claim to that fact? Especially, at least at the current moment, Titus O’Neil. Yeah, the infamous Montreal Screwjob was that damn good. So good, in fact, I’m not even sure if Vince McMahon knows what was scripted, and what was not.

But with all of the character examination, also comes a real person. Roughly two weeks ago, Bret revealed he was battling prostate cancer. Though to the surprise of precisely no one, just three days ago we learned of a surgery gone well.

Shocking? Hardly.

That’s Bret Hart. Winner, survivor, resilient badass, and hilarious Simpsons character.

No one can ever shout “I’m the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be” unless said person has been on The Simpsons. And, well, there you have it.

Writer, Editor, Comedian, and Fashion Critic. Currently in heated negotiations over the rights to Jack Sikma's striking perm and a mold of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's glorious goggles.