The Most Deplorable Team In The NFL

by 1 year ago
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Logan Bowles-USA TODAY Sports


The word “deplorable” quickly became the nation’s hottest catchphrase- some are quite proud of the word, others equally disgusted by it. Whatever side of the political spectrum you stand, we’re all still Americans- and last time I checked, we all still love a game called football, the kind of football that’s played with a pigskin. So naturally, it breaks my patriotic heart to see the professional football league I once so passionately followed turned into a deplorable sea of mediocrity and stubborn arrogance.

By most standards, today’s NFL sucks. And it’s not for any reasons most think. The collective billionaires who run the NFL simply don’t get “it.” While no one team or player defines the suddenly ratings-challenged NFL product, there is one casualty of the NFL’s ignorance that expertly defines the league’s foolishness.

Tim Tebow.

I last wrote about everyone’s ex-favorite American football player to love and hate for BroBible at the beginning of the current NFL season. I get it. No team wants Tebow. They don’t think he can make a positive difference. They all think they’re a better team without Tim Tebow. I continue to strongly disagree and infinitely disavow their un-endorsement.

Trying to rank which NFL team suffers most for their implausible inaction seems mission impossible. Nearly every NFL team has severe issues at the QB position- from starter, all the way down to to practice squad scrub. After this past week’s games, it now seems abundantly clear which team can be crowned most deplorable.

Congratulations Jacksonville Jaguars! You’re not going to Disney World, much less the Super Bowl anytime soon. Tebow’s hometown team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, are the most deplorable franchise in the NFL…and it’s not even close. Not anymore.

After your latest franchise QB du jour just set an NFL record for pick 6’s (that’s Touchdowns thrown to the opponent) in his first three years, you’re on track to be the singular worst team in a division and league filled with extraordinarily average. Except, you’re not even close to average, are you?

Since your last great QB (Mark Brunell) left the First Coast after the 2003 season, you have started 8 different QBs. Over that 204 regular season game stretch your record stands at a ghastly 81 wins and 123 losses. Your current QB’s starting record is 10 and 31. Your back-up QB’s starting record is 18 and 35. The NFL only afforded Tebow 14 regular season starts. His record? 8 and 6. He’s 1 and 1 in the playoffs. You’ve hired and fired a plethora of coaches, revamped your roster, shuffled your front office staff and even tried changing owners. Guess what? You still suck- mightily.

In your home stadium you cover thousands of seats with a tarp because you can’t sell enough tickets. You replaced hundreds of more seats with a pool because you can’t put butts in the seats. You passed on a hometown hero because you didn’t want to deal with the circus that comes with him, even though you’re in the entertainment business.

This past weekend, you played the very franchise, the Denver Broncos, who first gave Tebow his shot in the NFL. All Tebow did in his second year with them was lead a losing team to a miraculous division title and thrilling OT playoff win verses the defending AFC Champions, Pittsburgh Steelers.

The folks at NFL Films recently edited together every single Tebow NFL Touchdown (mind you, not the kind the current Jags QB offers). Watch it and then tell me he can’t play QB or help your team win. At least try to convince me why Blake Bortles is better.

 

It took you 35 starts to determine your previous bonus baby, Blaine Gabbert, was every bit as terrible as his 8 and 27 record indicated. How you even won eight games with that cast-off is inexplicable. You had every opportunity to snatch Tebow during this period. When Denver signed Peyton Manning, they offered you Tebow in a trade- you only acted interested. The truth is you never seriously considered him. Shame on you.

By the way, Tebow’s since completely revamped his throwing motion to rival any QB in the league today- but maybe you missed that two pre-seasons ago when he was the most popular player on the Philadelphia Eagles. Go ahead. Check the tape. I have- and believe me, the Eagles have long been serious contenders for this so-called, “most deplorable honor. In a city known to boo anyone and everyone, including Santa Claus, Tebow received a rousing standing ovation of brotherly love, with chants of his name, every time he took the field.

Memo to Jags Owner Shahid Khan:

A majority of Jaguars fans are Trump supporters. Do you know who is Trump’s favorite QB? I’ll give you a hint. He’s now playing America’s former favorite pastime for the liberal leaning, anti-Trump New York Metropolitans. Why not give your fans what they and this country’s President-elect so desperately want?

What these deplorables want is to make Tebow Time again!

I’ve witnessed greatness first hand- I’ve stood on the sidelines of NFL games. For the first 10 years of the Jaguars existence I wore bright orange gloves and worked as the TV Network’s Official Timeout Coordinator. I’ve been face-to-face with real winners. Have you? I’ve seen Tebow play in person multiple times, in college and in the NFL. Have you? I’ve also had the privilege of meeting and interviewing the man. Have you?

Trump may not “Make America Great Again” (however, you define that), but his QB of choice would certainly not make the Jags suck again. Yeah, that’s right. Donald J. Trump is such a “bigly” Tebow fan, he illegally used his Foundation to purchase a signed Tebow helmet as a personal gift for himself. For the record, Tebow is just about the only thing I agree with Lord Trump on.

Dear Jaguars Owner Shahid Khan:

I emplore you to fire the losers you now employ- hire the one coach in America who still believes he can win with Tebow (Jon Gruden) and turn your deplorable franchise into the winner your deplorable fans deserve. Unlike Trump, only you have the power to make it happen. Please use your power wisely- not foolishly. Your city, and your country, depend on it.

Note: We’ve reached out to Mr. Khan for comment and we will update if and when we receive one.

Steve Matoren is a Los Angeles based writer who wisely spends his Thursday nights, Sundays and Monday nights not watching the NFL.


TAGSFootballJacksonville JaguarsNFLTim Tebow

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