The Rock Shames Us For How Easy Our Lives Are In This New Under Armor Commercial

Shit, I guess we do have it pretty easy. Besides being balls deep in student loan debt, paying up the ass for my shoebox of an apartment, and generally disappointing my father, I guess my life is pretty easy. All I have to do to go on a date is to swipe right enough times and convince a girl that I haven’t committed a homicide. All I have to cure cancer is to change my Facebook profile picture to a pink ribbon. And all I have to do to not get fired from my job is not whip my dick out and helicopter it in plain view of my superiors. My drug guy even comes to my doorstep.

I’m glad The Rock reminded me that no matter how easy my life is, I’m still kind of failing. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear on a Monday when I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.