Dude Makes Hilarious ‘Things SEC Fans Say’ Spoof That Highlights The Absurdity Of Each Fan Base


I’ve never had the luxury of going to a college where football matters. My school didn’t have a sacred, magical trees hand-picked from a grove of 9,000 others, and if it did, no one would want to poison the fucking thing. My school’s athletes were only discernible through the team gear they wore, not because their faces are plastered all over American televisions for months on end.

Since I can’t relate to the unwavering passion behind each school, I find their fandom hilarious. And no one highlights their absurdity better than this dude.

“I’m the first one in my family to go to college. My parents went to Ole Miss.” SHAAAAAAAADEEEEEE.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.