As another Tim Tebow-less NFL season kicks off, I’ve had enough. On behalf of Tebow’s millions of passionate fans, Skip Bayless, Scott Van Pelt, Michelle Beadle, Max Kellerman, Mike Ditka, Jon Gruden and Kenny Albert (who I ran into recently) who all believe Tebow should still be on an NFL roster at QB, and not chasing another field of dreams, I’m compelled to speak out. While Tebow’s seemingly swapped his shoulder pads for a baseball glove at a time when there’s been even more enigmatic QB signings and trades around the league, not to mention the consistently bad play at the position, I must invoke the infamous Vince Lombardi and ask, “What the hell is going on out there?!”
If Lombardi understood one thing, it was that when it comes to winning at the highest level of competitive sports, superior talent is almost never the deciding factor. What separates winners from losers has more to do with intangibles like heart, passion, toughness and leadership than it does how hard one can throw or how fast one can run. Yet, despite Lombardi’s values, the modern NFL, year in and year out, seems to de-value the more potent immeasurables. It’s why drafting is such an inexact science, even though the “experts” will lead you to believe, it is, in fact, very scientific. It’s not. It’s the reason why Tom Brady was a 6th round selection and Akili Smith was a top pick.
I’ve never played football, but I’ve been watching with a discerning eye for 40-some years. I’ve seen the difference “winners” make. No one exemplifies winning ideals more than NFL vanquished lightning rod Tim Tebow. Regardless of what you think of Tim Tebow’s QB skills, he remains one of the greatest, most inspiring players to ever play the position. And the most controversial. From high school to college to the pros, Tebow found every way possible to win- and at times, win dramatically. He won a high school game literally on a broken leg. In college he delivered “the speech” that propelled the team to a national title. And in the the pros he consistently delivered late game heroics and defied all skeptics by throwing for 316 yards in a thrilling OT playoff win vs the Steelers. Yet, the NFL refuses to accept he can play QB at a high level.
When people scratched their heads trying to figure at how Tebow kept leading Denver to late game victories in 2010, they showed their woeful ignorance in understanding what makes winning possible. Despite what many will try and argue otherwise, Tebow is a natural QB because he’s a natural leader. He’s a great teammate and an even greater gamer. The only number that matters to this guy is the final score and whether or not you left it all out on the field. I just never thought there would be 32 Owners, GMs and Coaches who could so easily dismiss such obvious attributes. If you don’t want Tebow on your team because of all the attention he brings, then I say, “Don’t bother calling Vanna White to buy a vowel, instead reach out to Kaitlan Jenner and buy some balls.”
I’m not here to debate why teams don’t want Tebow. They all have their reasons. The truth is, no NFL team will be able to convince me they’re better off without a Tim Tebow on their roster. I don’t care if the guy never plays a down, simply having Tebow on your team automatically makes your team “better.” In fact, anyone (and I am one of them) who has met Tebow face to face walks away feeling better about life.
Here’s a breakdown of every single NFL team and why, no matter how many wins they amass, will perpetually remain losers for not signing Tebow and wanting him on their active roster.
Arizona Cardinals – Congratulations! Ex-supermarket bag boy and ex-Arena League star Kurt Warner took your loser franchise to a Super Bowl. You think you can go back with Carson Palmer? Think again. Carson has 159 NFL regular season starts and owns as many playoff wins as one Timothy Tebow. Drew Stanton is 2nd in command. Loser.
Atlanta Falcons – While starting QB Matt Ryan has thrown for plenty of yards and TD’s in his 8 years as a full time starter in the league, he’s also won as many playoff games as Tebow, 1. If you’re counting, which I am, Ryan’s started 126 regular season games to Tebow’s 14. Ryan’s career playoff record is 1-4. Tebow’s is 1-1. Matt Schaub is the Falcons back-up. He’s started 92 games over 12 seasons for 4 different teams. Matt Schaub also has the same number of playoff wins as Tebow, 1- but hey, I hear he throws a nice ball in practice.
Baltimore Ravens – After the Ray Rice incident, the Ravens could have chosen to rebuild their image with a wholesome, righteous man who most men say would be honored to have as a son-in-law. Instead, they signed a guy who refers to himself as “the legend of Ryan Mallett.”
Buffalo Bills – Owner Terry Pegula enters his 3rd season at the helm by rewarding 2nd year QB Tyrod Taylor with a 6-year extension worth $92 million. Keep in mind, Tebow would happily sign for the league minimum which is around $800,000. In 13 career regular season starts, Taylor has 24 total TD’s, 6 INT’s and 7 wins. In Tebow’s 14 career regular season starts, he had 29 total TD’s, 9 INT’s and 8 wins. Not only did Pegula outbid Donald Trump for the right to buy the team, but he also trumps him at bad investments. Let’s not forget he continues to put his faith in Rex Ryan- a man who owns a Mark Sanchez tattoo. Loser.
Carolina Panthers – Is the Super Bowl losing team considered a loser or are they still winners because they won a conference championship? Either way, it’s nearly impossible for the losing Super Bowl team to return and win the big one the following year. Cam Newton is the starter. Cam Newton also backed up Tebow at Florida. Cam and Tim are friends, having each attended one another’s off season charity events. If Tebow had as many NFL starts as Cam and was last year’s Panther’s QB, Peyton Manning does not go out in a blaze of glory. Tebow also never ducks the media. By the way, Newton’s back-ups are Browns reject Derek Anderson and the mighty Joe Webb. Losers.
Chicago Bears – Veteran Jay Cutler is what happens when Jay Buhner and Nuke Laloosh have a baby. He’s got a rocket for an arm, but a 2-cent head. Cutler epitomizes the modern NFL value at QB- they keep waiting for him to “turn the corner,” but every year, it’s the same old, same old- big throws and big interceptions. Much like the Donald, Jay is never going to “pivot.” Cutler’s started a whopping 134 regular season games, compiling a perfect mediocre record of 67-67. He is who he is. And of course, during that span, he has just as many playoff wins as Tebow- 1. Head Coach John Fox never wanted Tebow to be his QB in Denver- he should be so lucky to have that choice again.
Cincinnati Bengals – The Bengals have Andy Dalton at QB. He’s nice. He’s also 0-4 in the playoffs. His back-up, AJ McCaron is known more for his girlfriend than his playing ability. Last week the Bengals went out and signed an ex-University of Florida QB. Only his name is not Tim Tebow. It’s Jeff Driskel. That’s insanity. The Bengals continue to be the Bungals.
Cleveland Browns – The Browns enter the 2016 NFL season with their 25th different starting QB since 1999. So, they got that going for them. After missing wildly with party boy Johnny Manziel, they opted to sign a QB who’s suffered a near career ending knee injury and was not the most popular guy in his previous clubhouse. Oh, and he just blindsided his wife by filing for divorce, dating a new girlfriend and immediately getting a tattoo in her honor. Who is this beauty queen? Robert Griffin the Third, or RGIII to the cool kids. Not that this has anything to do with football, it’s just that Cleveland has a long history of not knowing anything about QB’s. Perhaps, character and leadership skills should be more valued by a team in desperate need of an image repair and wins. Will they ever learn?
Dallas Cowboys – Dallas is probably the most intriguing and logical place for Tebow right now. A year ago, the Governor of the state wanted the Cowboys to sign Tebow. And now with Romo out (again), rookie Dak Prescott is the anointed starter. Dak’s great. I love Dak. Guess who Dak loves? Tebow! He idolized him growing up, patterned his game after him and wore his number in college. So, who did Dallas sign to back Dak up? Naturally, someone who hates Tebow and plays nothing like Dak. The Cowboys think Mark Sanchez is a better fit than Tebow. It goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway- Jerry Jones, you’re a boozer, a womanizer and a Texas-sized loser.
Denver Broncos – Tebow’s success and failure in Denver have been well documented and debated. No one faults John Elway for bringing in Peyton Manning to replace Tebow in 2012- what most people can’t figure out is why he didn’t keep Tebow around to develop behind Manning. Or for that matter, bring the beloved Tebow back when Manning retired. The answer is simple: John Elway was no Tebow fan. Never mind, that Tebow reminded Denver fans of a young Elway and provided the most excitement to the city since Elway’s Super Bowl years. Tebow’s dog is named Bronco. He loved it there and they loved it- everyone except his boss’s ego. The post Tebow/Manning era begins this week with Trevor Sieman, Paxton Lynch and Austin Davis at QB. John Elway- you sir, are a mile high loser.
Detroit Lions – Ah…the Lions….one of the last remaining NFL franchises to have never played in a Super Bowl. You got another year with Jay Cutler Jr. Captain Obvious says Matthew Stafford is not leading you to any championships anytime soon. Just ask Florida’s biggest rival, the Georgia Bulldogs about Tebow vs Stafford when Tim broke the SEC career rushing TD mark against them, previously held by beloved Dawg, Herschel Walker.
Green Bay Packers – Yes, you have Aaron Rogers. Do you know who you have behind him? Do you care? It’s UCLA rookie Brett Hundley, Joe Callahan and Marquis Williams. Come again? Go Pack Go!
Houston Texans – Yet another franchise begging the question, how many bad QB’s does it take to try something different? This year, they’ve turned to Broncos cast off Brock Osweiler, Tom Savage and Brandon Weeden. Based upon their recent history, I’m gonna’ safely predict that once again, they will be losers for not going with Tebow.
Indianapolis Colts – What’s not to like about Andrew Luck? Nothing. He’s a huge Bruce Springsteen fan and played at Stanford. He’s one smart, capable QB. Problem lies with the back-ups. Scott Tolzien and venerable Tebow killer, Stephen Morris (see Philadelphia Eagles.) Losers.
Jacksonville Jaguars – If not for the Cleveland Browns, Jacksonville would be the most inept franchise in the league. After a multi-year playoff run with Tom Coughlin and Mark Brunell, the team has faded into near irrelevance, complete with a less than stellar QB carousel that includes, Byron Leftwitch, David Garrard, Chad Henne, Blaine Gabbert and now “promising” golden boy Blake Bortles. So far, Bortles is more Jay Cutler than Tom Brady- while the jury is still out on him, the fact is the face of the First Coast’s only major league franchise could have been its favorite native son, Tim Tebow. Tebow grew up in Jacksonville and played his college ball in Gainesville, 80 miles away. Unfortunately, neither old ownership (Wayne Weaver) or new ownership (Shad Khan) wants the guy. No single figure is more beloved in Jacksonville than Tebow- even the Jews here love him, including my very Jewish mother, making him more popular than Jesus! If that’s not enough, Tebow has 3 million more fans on Twitter than the lowly Jags. Holy John 3:16! The Jaguars, old and new, are beyond losers- they’re sacrilegious.
Kansas City Chiefs – The accurate dink and dunker Alex Smith is a serviceable NFL QB. With that said, no team worries about Smith beating them. On the other hand, plenty of teams in 2011 found out what it was like to be Tebowed- the Jets, Bears, the Dolphins, the Vikings, the Steelers…. Kansas City has one of the most rabid, loyal fan bases in the entire league. Unfortunately, management consistently rewards them with unexciting offenses. The Chiefs have not won a home playoff game since an OT win v the Steelers in 1994. You know who else beat the Steelers in OT in the playoffs at home? Tebow. Great googly-moogly.
Los Angeles Rams – New city. New (old) stadium. Same shitty QB. You would think relocating to the 2nd largest city in America would warrant a profound change at the position, if not for wins, simply to fill a 100,000 plus seat stadium. Tebow already works out and lives part time in the City of Angels. I guess Case Keenum’s limited 3-year resume impressed the “experts.” Rookie Jared Goff and Sean Mannion back him up. Yeah, that trio is better than Tebow right now.
Miami Dolphins – Since Dan Marino’s last game, a 62-7 blowout loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Dolphins have been perennial losers, especially at the QB position. I‘m going to spare Dolphins fans from the pain of reliving every QB they’ve had since Marino. The current signal caller, Ryan Tanneyhill, is beloved by management who signed him to a 6-year extension in 2015 for $97 million. His 29 wins in 64 starts must show something I’m unaware of. Did you know Tebow is from Florida? And that one of his greatest games- a National Championship come from behind victory against the Sam Bradford led Oklahoma Sooners came in the same football stadium the Dolphins call home. A couple of years later, Tebow would lead the Broncos to a comeback win, again in that same stadium, vs the Dolphins in 2011. All I know is Tebow is 2-0 on the Dolphins field.
Minnesota Vikings – Brand new stadium- in. 2nd year QB- out (for the year). Starter Teddy Bridgewater has been replaced by Sam Bradford and Shaun Hill. Hello mediocrity! We already know ownership is a loser for how they initially handled the Adrian Peterson case. By not signing Tebow, they’ve doubled down on their loser moniker. Guess that’s why Minneapolis is part of the “Twin” cities. Shameful.
New England Patriots – When the Patriots signed Tebow at the start of training camp in 2013, most people believed that Belichick and Brady, along with reuniting with QB Coach/Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels, the guy who drafted him, was the perfect match. Tebow would learn from the best and develop under their leadership. Turned out, Tebow did not shine enough practice and was cut before the season began. Tebow is a gamer- he will never impress in practice, except with his effort. The perception that McDaniels lost his job in Denver because he drafted Tebow is inaccurate. In fact, you could argue the reason he was fired was because he never played him! A poor season from Kyle Orton ultimately did McDaniels in. As much as McDaniels loves Tebow, he has little say in New England. After Tebow was cut by the Patriots, I wrote to Owner Bob Kraft asking him why he did not want Tebow on his team. In fact, I contacted all 32 Owners asking them the very same question. Only Kraft offered a respectable response- he asserted to me he did in fact want Tebow, but it just didn’t work out. Ultimately, Bill Belichick has the final word on all personnel and for whatever reason did not have the faith in Tebow his OC once had.
New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees. Drew Brees. Drew Brees. Luke McCown. Garrett Grayson. Guess ownership is scared to bring in another Gator QB, since the last one (Danny Wuerffel) didn’t work out too well, except in the community where he continues to raise lots of money for the poor and disadvantaged through his charity- nah, New Orleans isn’t in need of anymore helping hands. Doesn’t sound like Tebow’s a good fit here.
New York Giants – Eli is the QB, no matter how many interceptions he throws. That’s just how it is when you’ve won a pair of Super Bowls. On the other hand, management thinks Ryan Nassib and Josh Johnson are better than Tebow. Wow. These “experts” are losers of epic proportions- you may even call them “Giant” size. I hate New York (the team, not the city.)
New York Jets – I still can’t believe Tebow was never given one start during the Rex Ryan Butt Fumble fiasco Jets season of 2012. That aside, Geno Smith replaced Tebow on the roster and he promptly lost his job to journeyman Ryan Fitzpatrick. Despite Ryan’s recent bloated contract demands, he is not the second coming. J-E-T-S spells L-O-S-E-R-S.
Oakland Raiders – Not too long ago this team’s motto was “Just win baby.” It’s been replaced by “Just lose baby.” Young QB Derek Carr shows some promise, but this is a franchise that still can’t decide where it wants to play its home games. Despite Tebow’s immense popularity, he’s just as hated- which automatically makes him fit to wear the silver and black. “Just get a clue baby” should be the new tag line for a team that is still very much a loser.
Philadelphia Eagles – I interviewed Tebow at his annual Foundation’s charity golf tournament in March of 2015, just weeks before he worked out and eventually signed with the Eagles. When I asked him if he would ever play in the NFL again, he smiled and calmly replied, “You never know what the future holds.” I sensed something was up and I was right. Upon landing in Philly a few weeks later, it seemed like a perfect fit with Chip Kelly and his spread, modified read-option offense. Given the 3 other QB’s on the roster at the time, Sam Bradford, Mark Sanchez and Matt Barkley were as immobile as it gets, Tebow offered a skill set the others could not. On top of that, Tebow had spent more than a year and half re-working his throwing motion with renown passing guru, Tom House. Anyone who saw the “new” Tebow 2.0 in action knew immediately his throws were tighter, quicker and crisper. What could go wrong? Nothing really. Tebow instantly became the most popular player on the Eagles. Sales of his jersey soared and fans chanted his name whenever he entered the field. They ooohed and ahhhed when he scrambled, and cheered even louder when he connected on deep balls. Even Philly’s adopted son, Sylvester Stallone voiced his approval and admiration. Rocky loved Tebow! But on final cut down day, Chip Kelly inexplicably decided undrafted University of Miami QB Stephen Morris, recently cut by the Jacksonville Jaguars, was better than Tebow. No one saw that coming. Kelly’s decision proved to be as incompetent as his coaching- the Eagles ended up with one of their worst seasons in recent memory and suffered miserably at the QB position, with neither Bradford nor Sanchez providing any leadership or spark. It’s no surprise neither QB’s are on the Eagles roster this year. With Kelly out too and an unsettled situation at QB ahead could Philly actually bring Tebow back? No. Fellow University of Florida alum and current Eagles GM Howie Roseman once again ignored his fellow Gator. Instead, Mr. Roseman chose North Dakota State rookie Carson Wentz and the underwhelming Chase Daniel, who lost out on the 2007 Heisman to Tebow, to lead the franchise. Fly Eagles Fly?!
I don’t think so.
Pittsburgh Steelers – I have a friend who is a die-hard Steelers fan and insists the only way to win in the NFL is from the pocket. Big Ben is his guy. And certainly as long as he’s upright is going to be Pittsburgh’s guy. But “Pig” Ben’s back-ups are Landry Jones and Zach Mettenberger. Anyone other than Mike Tomlin and company think those two are better than Tebow? Sorry Steelers, your towels are not the only thing terrible.
San Diego Chargers – The Chargers had a nice run with Philip Rivers, but it’s time to for a reality check. The dream is dead. And so might a new stadium deal in San Diego- unless of course there was something to re-energize a tired fan base. I don’t know, someone with the fire, leadership and charisma of Tim Tee-bowwwwwwwww! Whether the Bolts remain in San Diego or move up to LA, they’ll remain losers without T squared.
San Francisco 49ers – Let me get this straight. The franchise of Bill Walsh, Joe Montana, Steve Young, Jerry Rice and Ronnie Lott is going with Blaine Gabbert as their starter and Chip Kelly as their Head Coach. Gabbert was dumped by Jacksonville because he was a loser and Chip Kelly was let go by Philly for the same reason. Colin Kaepernick kneeling during the national anthem is the least of your problems. Is projected 3rd stringer Thad Lewis still on the roster? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Sounds like the team who abandoned the city by the bay in favor of the riches of Santa Clara desperately needs a wake-up call. Once a proud winner, now a fine loser!
Seattle Seahawks – It’s hard to label the Seahawks losers after all they’ve accomplished the last few years. And their billionaire owner, Paul Allen, spares no expense. OK, Russell Wilson is your starter. But Tyrone Boykin is your back-up. Excuse me? Baking powder? Loser!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – You’ve chosen the face of your franchise to be an instate college legend who is also an alleged rapist, over an instate college legend who is also an alleged virgin. Your back-ups are Mike Glennon and Ryan Griffin. Fire the cannons!
Tennessee Titans – Marcos Mariotta. OK. He’s got potential. You know who doesn’t? Back-ups Matt Cassel and Alex Tanney. Ask anyone in Nashville who they’d rather have backing up Mariotta. Tebow or those two? Sorry Tennessee, you won the lottery a year ago, but you’re back to being losers this year.
Washington Redskins – Kirk Cousins. Colt McCoy. Nate Sudfield. Murderers row this is not. While Tebow finished 3rd in the 2008 Heisman race behind McCoy and Bradford, he actually received more first place votes than both. That means more thought he was the best of the 3. But I know, this is not college. So, the Skins signed Nate Sudfield instead of Tebow. Who the hell is Nate Sudfield?! Even with Tebow, the Redskins and their offensive name and logo still make them losers- adding Tebow may just give them and the rest of the league one final shot at salvation.
There you have it- the NFL’s unofficial A-W Losers list. Ask any of Tebow’s harshest critics, including the hyperbolic Stephen A. Smith, and they will all admit Tebow deserves to be on an NFL roster, at a minimum, as the 3rd string QB. The NFL is an arrogant, egotistical, billion dollar American industry that’s been unceremoniously, and rightfully, dubbed the “No Fun League” for years. By unanimously rejecting the global phenomenon that was once known as #Tebowing, the NFL is stubbornly also a league for losers only. Go ahead and kick-off another Tebow-less season without me. No Tebow. No Steve-O!
Steve Matoren is a Los Angeles based freelance writer who could care less the NFL is back in town.