*HeArT ThRoB* Tyler Seguin Made Some Chick Drown In A Puddle Of Her Own Tears On Her 16th Birthday

Ahh to be Tyler Seguin. 23 years old, studly looking, Stanley Cup champion, riding a 6-year/$34 million contract, probably pulling DiCaprio level chicks, and melting middle school girls into a puddle of their own tears over a simple gesture. A DiCaprio/Bieber/Gretzky hybrid. Diabolical. Oh, and he would go on to net a hat trick against his old squad, the Boston Bruins.

Seguin’s reaction when he saw the girl’s reaction was priceless.

Never forget.

I’m sure you were the only two sweetheart. That night.

[h/t FTW]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.