USA Eiffel Towered France In The American Football World Championships By A Score Of 82-0

First off, I had no idea this league even existed. The game was part of the IFAF (International Federation of American Football) World Championship, held in Canton, Ohio. The American team consists of recent college graduates not on an NFL or CFL roster, with the goal of possibly making a good enough impression to catch they eye of a league scout.

And as a team they laid a fucking LASHING on France, 82-0. Granted it’s our nation’s sport, but fuck it, a W is a W. According to SB Nation, Team USA had won its first two games of the tournament easily —  beating Mexico 30-6 and beat Japan 43-18. But their matchup against France, who beat Australia 53-3 in its previous game, was a goddamn massacre.

SB Nation reported some stats:

  • US was up 54-0 at halftime, and made an effort to drain the clock in the second half
  • USA outgained France 334 to -26 on the ground and 454 to 75 overall.
  • Two USA running backs — former Iowa State RB Aaron Wimberly and former Texas Tech RB Sadale Foster — outgained France, recording 117 and 81 yards.
  • The US did not punt or kick a field goal, scoring on 12 of its 13 possessions.
  • This was the biggest win America had ever had in the tournament — their previous best was a 77-0 win over South Korea in 2007.

America is 3-0 and will now face Japan in the gold medal game.


[h/t
SB Nation]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.