Here’s How To Win A Fat Stack Of Cash Just By Drinking Beers And Watching The Horse Race This Weekend

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Bro. BRO! Do you even Derby? Now I know that you probably follow horse racing about as much as the WNBA preseason, but I don’t need to remind some of you that having 3-9 beers while watching large mammals run like the wind is some of the most exhilarating two minutes since we lost our virginities. This is precisely why the Derby is deemed “The Most Exciting Two Minutes In Sports.”

The 143rd Kentucky Derby will run Saturday, May 6, 2017, at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky and unlike years past, there is no sure-fire favorite to win it. Horse injuries and lack of pattern in build-up race winners have this year’s Derby as more of guessing game.

“It’s as wide open as we’ve seen in a long time. You’re going to have some BIG ODDS on whoever the favorite is,” said Dale Romans, who trains Gotham Stakes winner J Boys Echo.

If a wide open field isn’t exciting enough to tune in, there’s a goddamn ONE-EYED HORSE competing! The horse’s name is Patch, and with 18 points entering the Derby, experts believe he has a real chance of winning it. Suck it, Seabiscuit!

And if THAT storyline isn’t enticing enough, how about the prospect of fattening your wallet? Now I’m speaking your language. Our bros over at MyBookie.ag are making it super easy to bet on The Derby–offering straight bets on the winner as well as tangential bets on the jockey, the trainer, and various prop bets.

MyBookie, the industry’s leading online sports betting site, will provide all winners with payouts within 48 hours (just the fastest payouts in the biz NBD), as well as rewarding returning customers with loyalty points that can be used to earn free bets and dope rewards.

MyBookie has the 3-year-old dark bay colt Always Dreaming as its favorite horse to win (+300). Always Dreaming had the fastest time among 35 horses going 5 furlongs at Churchill Downs on Friday, clocking the fastest Florida Derby time since 1978. The site’s other favorites to win it are Classic Empire (+600), who was the best two-year-old horse in 2016, and he crowned his season by winning the Breeders’ Cup Juvenile. Health issues in 2017 and a “stubborn streak” could allow for a horse with the odds stacked against it to pull out a W. And you know what this means: potential $$$ in your pocket.

Woo, just typing this post up is getting me jacked up to throw half my rent money on a horse Saturday. I highly suggest you do the same, and maybe with our winnings, we can buy a mini pony and train him to become the 2018 Kentucky Derby winner. I ain’t horsin’ around, I need a mini pony.

JOIN MYBOOKIE NOW!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.