The Undertaker Is Really Starting To Look Like A ‘Dead Man’ — WWE Rumors and Reactions
Welcome to the inaugural edition of WWE Rumors and Reactions. Every day (maybe), I’ll review the biggest WWE and wrestling rumors on the web and give my initial reaction and usually dead wrong opinion on the subject.
I’ll try not to discuss any spoilers because I like recapping the shows without knowledge of all the insider bull.
This should be a hoot. Let’s dig right into today’s biggest WWE rumors.
WWE Rumors and Reactions for August 20th
Triple H announces Brock Lesnar’s opponent for Night of Champions and it’s…
Really? I really need to tell you who his opponent will be? Even in a world of automatic rematches and the Six Million Dollar Cena, I’ve got to spell it all out for people?
Fine. It’s Hornswoggle.
WWE rumors spreading about Raw’s cinder block issue
WWE creative member #1: “How the hell do we explain a giant palate of cinder blocks being ringside?”
WWE creative member #2: “We’ll worry about that later.”
WWE creative member #3: Laid off last week.
WWE.com is shedding some light on just how those building materials ended up ringside for Seth Rollins’ match against Dean Ambrose Monday on Raw. It was Seth Rollins himself, with a little help from Gene from accounting.
“They call me the ‘Architect of The Shield’ for a reason,” explained Mr. Money in the Bank. “I put everybody together and was responsible for all the faction’s success – as well as the success of Dean Ambrose. Now, I am the one who has has torn it apart. On the other side of things, there’s Director of Operations Kane, who has been around a long time and is also very smart. You put a mind like [his] with a mind like mine, who knows what could happen. So, when it was the right time, the cinder blocks were revealed and the plan played out perfectly.”
So Seth and Gene figured Dean would dump the bucket of water, Triple H would set the match, the fans would vote the stipulation, Seth and Gene could get union workers to set up the cinder blocks in time and this is all getting more complex than a 9-11 conspiracy.
One of the best segments on Monday’s Raw was added last minute
If these WWE rumors are true, it’s obvious they sometimes forget who’s employed by the company.
In my Raw recap, I talked about my dislike of the Mark Henry and Big Show tag team but my love of the Mark Henry and Rusev feud. A former Olympic champ against a Russian strongman and his handler from Pitch Perfect makes sense. WWE thought the same, but like, an hour before showtime.
PWInsider is reporting that the Henry and Rusev angle was added last minute. Probably when Henry and Rusev fought over the last bag of Funyons in the vending machine. “Should the pro-American guy wrestle the anti-American guy?” asked WWE Creative right after they wondered “who the hell ordered all these God damn cinder blocks?!?”
Hulk Hogan is bucking so, SO hard to wrestle one last WWE match
…but then a simple request — can everyone please stop interviewing Hulk Hogan every day. Almost all the WWE rumors involve Hogan, his creaming for one last match, his dream opponents, calling out Brock Lesnar for making him look bad in front of the rest of the guys from his retirement home and whatever hell else the Hulkster wants to discuss.
In today’s WWE rumors involving everyone’s favorite orange wrestler, Hogan talks dream matches again and going one last time with Steve Austin or John Cena. My dream match is Hulk Hogan against a room empty of reporters or cameras.
Bully Ray might be WWE bound?
TNA still seems to be treading water, and WWE rumors about possible talent making the jump are always circulating, but the most intriguing name that pops up every once in a while is Bully Ray.
Right now, his name has been left off all future TNA events, as his contract with the company expires in September. Bully (formerly Bubba Ray of The Dudley Boys in case you’re not aware) has always been in good graces with the WWE since he left in 2005. Since that time, he’s been a top performer in TNA and even held they world title on two occasions. He’s pals with the Huckster, his buddy Sting just jumped ship, and he’s a strong locker room voice.
Bully Ray would be a solid top-level, main event heel for the WWE. There would be an odd transition period — mostly getting fans to stop thinking of him as Bubba Ray — but Bully Ray feuding with top WWE faces would freshen up TV main events and PPVs. Bully’s former tag team partner Devon is also a free agent. Another REAL tag team (not two guys jammed together out of necessity) in the tag division wouldn’t hurt either.
“USO CRAZY…and you’re going through a table. ”
The Undertaker finally rose from the dead of his couch
The Undertaker looks like he’s fresh off a trip from Death Valley. A literal death valley where old wrestlers go to relax. I really got nervous when I saw the name tag. I thought ‘Taker forgot his own name and wore a tag for his own benefit. Thankfully, everyone has on a name tag. His says Mark Calaway but I wonder how many times he screwed up and wrote The Under…The Und…The Phenom…American Bad Ass…MARK!
Got more WWE rumors, photos or something I’ve got to see? Leave it in the comments or reach out on Twitter @chrisilluminati.