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THE HEADLINES
Estimated Read Time: 3 minutes and 37 seconds
XERO CHANCE THIS WORKS OUT
Xerox and Fujifilm are the institutional equivalent of your grandmother’s house: the technology is from the ’60’s, their heyday has passed … and everything is inexplicably covered in plastic.
And now the two geriatric companies have escalated their courtship (Fujifilm and Xerox have had a joint venture for 56 years to sell copiers in the Asia-Pacific region) into a full blown union as Fuji buys Xerox in a deal worth $6.1B. Or roughly 600M toner cartridges.
As part of the acquisition, the newly formed Fuji Xerox (really original name) will say adios to 10k employees in Asia.
The good old days
Back in it’s day Xerox was a juggernaut of commerce. You may have heard of some of their innovations: Ethernet, the mouse and the laser printer.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “This new company just screams ‘we’ll reward you with an acrylic plaque after you’ve given us the best 35 years of your life.’ The kinda culture that will have cake in the conference room to celebrate the deal.”
LESS PEOPLE, MO PROBLEMS
Did anyone notice that Facebook’s news feed has been a little more tame the past few months? After Russian ads reached 126M viewers during the election, Zuck vowed to make sure that your news feed was a lot more vanilla.
Turns out the change caused users to spend less time on the ‘book during Q4. Like, 50M hours per day less. Looking to improve its “impact on society,” the company said that the decline was intentional. In an unconfirmed report, Zuckerberg was also said to have been looking forward to paper cuts and hang nails in the coming year.
For the sake of humanity, FB also announced it would stop running bitcoin and other crypto-currency ads on the platform. Despite drop in usage, FB reported record revenue once again. Because it’s Zuck’s world, we’re just living in it.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “What is a verified, trusted news provider anyway? Ask a coal miner from West Virginia and a Professor from San Francisco and you’ll get two very different answers. Seems like a slippery slope for The Social Network and an opportunity for others. The Water Coolest is just the thing America needs during these trying times. (*Cue Eagle flying over American Flag overlay*).”
WE PLAY TO LOSE
Fox may have won the right to broadcast Thursday Night Football for $3.3B over 5 years but estimates suggest they’ll lose $360M per season on the deal. There are only so many Thursdays that NFL fans will subject themselves to the Browns.
Some pundits (read: your uncle who listens to sports talk radio) would argue that Fox overpaid for the broadcast rights, offering up a 47% premium vs. CBS and NBC’s previous combined $450M per season bid. Especially as NFL TNF ratings plummet. They were down 12% this past season.
But Fox, in a post-$52B-Disney-acquisition world, will be hitching its wagon to the Fox Sports One and Fox News products. And Fox Sports without live sports is just a lot of Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe asking the other to let them speak.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “Imagine being the Junior Executive at FS1 tasked with pitching the Fox bosses on losing the company $360M per year. If you look up “selling ice to an Eskimo” there will be a picture of this legend.”
IN OTHER NEWS
- *Cue Billy Joel’s ‘Moving Out’* Janet Yellen chaired her final Central Bank meeting on Wednesday, where the Fed decided to not raise interest rates. So much for going out with a bang. Her last day at the office will be Friday.
- Sears lays off 220 employees at HQ. At this rate, by the end of 2018 Sears will consist of a few interns selling mismatched Craftsman tool sets out of van down by the river.
- Ericsson, the Swedish maker of telecom equipment, plans to lay off 10k of its roughly 100k employees. This comes after it cut 17k jobs in 2017. Yet it still made a list of 30 Best Places to Work in Sweden.
- Square will allow almost all of its users access to bitcoin trading after an initial limited testing period.
- Stephen Cohen is back baby! The real life Bobby Axelrod (Billions is a show about hedge funds) is fresh off of his 2-year SEC ban from accepting outside money. The slap on the wrist stemmed from Cohen’s fund’s role in an insider trading scandal.
- US indices were up Friday:
- DOW: +0.28%
- S&P 500: +0.05%
- NASDAQ: +0.12%
TALKING SHOP
Professional motivation, tips, tricks, hacks & resources carefully-curated by yours truly. Something you’d like to see featured? Shoot me an email at team@thewatercoolest.com
YOU SHOW ME YOURS AND I’LL SHOW YOU MINE
Rumor has it that there is a Google doc floating around Tinsel-town filled with TV writers salary, race and gender (read: it exists and here’s the link). And despite the small sample size and overlooking some important factors, writers are already claiming pay disparity is rampant.
So is this a good idea? Should you do you do your millennial duty and send around a spreadsheet requesting compensation info from other Claims Manager Trainees in the Northeast US? And should you wear your salary on your Brooks Brother’s button down sleeve?
Welp, some organizations ban this sort of water cooler chatter altogether, so your first stop should be the bowels of your employee handbook. And even if it is kosher, the practice is probably frowned upon by “the man.” I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a company excited for your compensation discussion to involve that of every other millennial on the floor.
But does that mean you shouldn’t tell your work spouse what you make? Does it mean you should settle for getting paid less than a colleague of the same caliber?
… [*Grabs mail opener and stapler*] Does this mean you should start an armed working-class revolution? (Hint: The answer is no)
Interested to hear your thoughts on this topic. Shoot me an email at team@thewatercoolest.com and let me know if you’re cool with others knowing what you make and knowing what kind of bacon they bring home.