Selena Gomez’s Cleavage Might Have A New Boyfriend Who ISN’T Justin Fuckhead Bieber And Twitter Is Freaking Out
Selena Gomez has had a rough life. First, she started dating Justin Bieber at some point, and then she continued to date him, break up with him, date him some more, cry about it a lot, date him for a tad bit longer and then poop her pants in a tearful rage when they finally called it quits. Obviously I don’t know anything else about the girl other than that she used to bang the Biebs, but what else is there to know? That alone is enough to see that her life has been utter shit thus far.
But for those of you who actually care about Selena Gomez as a person and not just her cleavage (which I’m going to estimate to be about 8 of you at any given moment not including myself because I too only care about her boobs), fear not! For Selena has maybe moved onto dating someone else whose name isn’t Justin Fuckhead Bieber. Instead, his name is Anton Zaslavski, aka Zedd. You know, the DJ who made “Clarity” and “That Ariana Grande Song Where She Mumbles Every Word.”
Could I have posted the music video? Sure. But that gif just about sums up the entire thing by itself.
Moving back to Selena Gomez, Twitter has been freaking out ever since she and Zedd were pretty much glued to each other on the red carpet at the Golden Globes. They were even holding hands! ERRMAGHERDDD everyone start freaking the fuck out because PDA!
— SELENA 16/09/13 ❤ (@luciANDsel) January 12, 2015
— Linda. (@SelenatorLinda) January 12, 2015
Oh, and people are beginning to call the pair “Zeddlena,” because fuck everything barf barf why.
— zeddlena af (@sgomezpickles) January 12, 2015
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsAnd yet…some people can’t handle that Selena Gomez isn’t dating the Biebs. Why you have such an emotional investment in someone you don’t even know is beyond me, but then again I’m a heartless troll with a soul full of coal so it’s not like I would get it anyway.
— unepeluche_ (@laou_steffy) January 12, 2015
So what do you think? Are Selena Gomez and Zedd dating? Are they just friends? Are they doomed to bang it out and then have Bieber sweep in and steal her away? It’s a motherfucking mystery.
[H/T MTV News]