10 Rules for Dorm Life

by 7 years ago

1. Establish a Solid Relationship with Your Roommate

Whether you like it or not, this guy is going to be in very close proximity with you for the rest of the year. You don't have to like him, just respect him. Usually your roommate will end up being one of your better friends at school anyway. Just clean up after yourself and don't touch any of his stuff and you should get along. Also, figure out a system early for how to handle the inevitable situation when one of you needs the room to yourself. Unless his slampiece practically moves in with you guys, never begrudge a Bro for getting ass.
2. Make Friends with the Girls in Your Hall…

I don't care how ugly, fat, or annoying the girls in your hall are, they can single-handedly make or break your game. There's also going to be at least one hot girl she's friends with that will probably come over. Just treat them right and they will gladly guide your cock instead of blocking it.

3. …But Don't Partake in Hall-cest

Do not, I repeat DO NOT try and hook up with any of the girls on your hall. Shit will get real weird and awkward. You might as well date the b*tch, and dear God is that a mistake. She is going to know everything you do and who you bring back and watch you for the next two semesters. Just an all-around disaster. If you must, though, wait until the end of the year so you can just dip out for summer vacation and avoid the awkwardness.

4. Be Cool with the Guys

There is going to be this awkward stage the first couple weeks you're living in the dorm where all the girls are trying to get a feel for everyone and all the guys are trying to establish who the alpha male is. Forget about all that; just introduce yourself and show respect to everyone. Sooner rather than later you'll figure out who your best friends and future groomsmen will be, but until then, just remember that at some point in the next four years every other Bro on campus could potentially help get you drunk or you close with a girl. Don't burn any bridges your first week of college.

5. Figure Out Your RA Quickly

It is going to be pretty easy to tell if your RA is going to be a stiff or not. Usually your RA won't call the police and give you an underage citation if they catch you, in which case, party on. But if your RA does suck, just accept that you're going to have to pre-game elsewhere.{pagebreak}

6. Share

Don't be a selfish prick and horde all your food and stuff. Especially with your roommate — learn to share, whether it's alcohol, food, condoms, whatever. Chances are the sharing will be reciprocated and you won't have to go without anything if you don't have it yourself. That said, don't be a mooch. Every hall has one, especially when the pizza guy shows up. Don't be the guy who's always begging for a slice.

7. Smoke with Caution

I personally don't smoke but a lot of my friends do. I've seen just about every method of marijuana indulgence and if you must smoke in the dorm, using a grav bong and blowing it out the window is probably the safest bet. If you hear about RAs, or, worse, cops, cracking down in your dorm, then go for a walk or smoke at an upperclassman's apartment or house.

8. Switch Your Room Up

The set-up they give you at school will most likely be shitty. Loft your bed up and throw a futon under it: instant chill spot. Also, try to keep it relatively clean — start by keeping your laundry off the floor and cleaning out the fridge (and garbage cans) every couple weeks.

9. You are Responsible for Your Friends from Home

My freshmen year I was dating this girl and her friend came over and they both slept in my room. I wake up around 5 a.m. to find her friend squatting in the corner pissing on my roommate's guitar: “I remember my first beer.” Don't let that shit happen.
10. Don't Destroy Your Own Hall

I don't know about anyone else but I like to break shit when I drink. I recommend doing it somewhere other than the place you live, because it'll probably get blamed on you and your hall will get pissed at you. Also, you live there so why f*ck your own shit up? Go tear some posters down in the dorm next-door.

Upperclassmen or recent grads: What are your rules for dorm life? Sound Off in the comments…

TAGScollege lifedorm life

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