Harry Potter is the quintessential entertainment franchise of a generation. But you know what never happens at Hogwarts? Sex. Kinky, sweaty sex. That’s unfortunate because, according to two graduate interns at Boston University, J.K. Rowling “missed an opportunity in her writing to address questions about sex that most students have when in junior high and high school.” Like, why couldn’t Lord Voldemort have died a slow, painful death from an incurable STD instead of at the hands of Harry Potter? Or Ron Weasley knocked someone up? Or Dumbledore explain to the student body at hogwarts how to properly put on a condom by using a banana?
Since these subjects were never addressed in the books, Boston University is hosting a Harry Potter-themed sexual education seminar. Via The Boston Globe:
On Thursday, as part of a monthlong sexual health and education program called “Frisky February,” Michelle Goode and Jamie Klufts, will step into the world of wizardry for a discussion of consensual intimacy during an event titled “Sex-ed at Hogwarts.”
“A lot of students entering college don’t actually get a foundation in sexual health, so we are going back to the basics, and finding ways to loop in references and scenarios from Harry Potter,” said Klufts, who works with Goode at BU’s Wellness and Prevention Services program.
The idea for the magical mashup came when Klufts and Goode realized that Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling missed an opportunity in her writing to address questions about sex that most students have when in junior high and high school.
“How can you have a school full of wizards and not talk about sex and sexuality?” said Klufts.
I know, right! How dare J.K. Rowling not turn a book she wrote for her children into a free-for-all, coed fuck fest? What was she thinking! Is she really so naive to think that a bunch of horny, college-age coed wizards couldn’t descend into a Fifty Shades of Grey-esque free-for-all? Hasn’t she ever been to college?
The hour-and-a-half long class will use topics, situations, and even vernacular from the books as examples to discuss topics including responsible drinking, contraception, and sexually transmitted diseases.
“We’re using the references as an opening and avenue to get the conversations started,” said Goode.
Goode said students seem excited to engage in a discussion that destigmatizes sex by relying on familiar characters and storylines.
She said more than 80 people have signed up for the event so far.
I hope the Boston University Quidditch team is in attendance. If there’s one group who probably needs some sex pointers on a college campus, it’s most likely the socially-awkward nerds who play competitive club quidditch.
I’m joking, of course. I’m sure you’re cool, BU quidditch.
If anyone from Boston University who reads BroBible was in attendance at the seminar, I’d love to post your recap of Sex Ed at Hogwarts. Drop me an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Reminds me of this classic, innuendo-filled Saturday Night Live sketch with Lindsay Lohan as Hermione Granger.