Sometimes we don’t get the grade we want, or the one we feel like we deserve based on our performance or gross sense of entitlement (could go either way). This student at Indiana University recently learned that disgusting fact and, like all of us before him, he took it up with his professor via email. Thing is, he left charm at the goddamn doorstep and unleashed an aggressive attack from the word go. That strategy doesn’t generally pay off, and I’m just taking a shot in the dark, but I doubt it yielded any substantial results for him either.
See what I mean? He could not have been more of a prick in that email. He’s management material, FOR SURE, but that’s not exactly the best approach when you have literally zero bargaining power. Here is his professor’s response:
She clearly kept a cooler head than she probably wanted to. She didn’t succumb to the temptation to verbally abuse the student, although I’d bet the farm that I don’t own she probably wanted to. However, the same can’t be said for the student’s next response and mockery of an email signature.
Unnecessary roughness? Yes. But be that as it may, anyone who has been in this kid’s loafers knows how frustrating it is to feel like you’ve been slighted by a professor. Here is his explanation as to why he wrote the scathing emails:
I am a senior that is currently in my last Gen-Ed required class of my college career, and it is miserable. The course material is some kind of nonsense about food activism and zombies or some shit. Not only that but my professor is quite possibly the worst human being on the planet. She sort of looks like Ruxen from The League if he had an incredibly self-righteous and generally evil case of swayback and wasn’t hilarious. She has pretty much had it out for me ever since I wrote a paper mocking the ridiculous premise she was asking us to write about. Since then, her and my AI (who I have come to find out is her sister-in-law or something) have been giving me terrible grades on papers that are actually really good (an attempt to dig myself out of the situation the 3/25 on my first paper got me).
Today in class we went over a particular heinous, nonsensical homework assignment and at least a quarter of the students (freshmen) in the 224 person class had some sort of question or comment about, me included. Since I was the last and most relentless (among everything stated above) in trying to point out the flaws in the way she structured her question, I was rewarded with the bitchiest, most flippant response. Needless to say, I left class incredibly irritated with this professor. I then proceeded to get a notification informing me that one of the papers I had submitted had been graded, and sure enough, my grade was shitty. This finally pushed me over the edge and I decided to email her to see what exactly was wrong with my paper this time.
Here are screenshots of all the emails so far. Also, the list of ridiculous titles at the end of my salutations on the email were meant to mock the fact that she included all of her positions in the school after hers. I’ve emailed her several times to ask about grades and she’d never included all that before, so I thought it’d be funny to call her out on it.
The hate is strong with this one. It doesn’t appear like it’s going to dissipate any time soon, either. My advice to Zach Attack is drop the class. I had a similar, yet less offensive, correspondence with a professor in college. We saw the world through two different lenses and nothing was going to change that. It was the only class in four years that I received worse than a C in. That fucker gave me an F.
[Top image via ShutterStock, Other images via Zach]