Incoming Alabama Student Wants Two Girl Roommates To ‘Fuck Shit Up With Next Year’
If you go to the University of Alabama or plan on attending next fall, keep your eyes peeled for a group of four girls who are looking to “fuck shit up” with next year. The girl looking for badass roommates is making her request on an Alabama Class of 2019 Facebook group.
The real criteria killer, ‘Bama ladies, is to “please only contact us if you average 130 – 150 likes on Instagram.” See, college is a quantifiable popularity contest. Otherwise you’re pretty much a mouth-breathing neckbeard social pariah with no friends, or something shitty and shallow like that. You’ll never be able to “have a kick ass time at all times” if your ‘grams are only getting 60-80 likes.
Honestly, this chick sounds like she sucks simply for the douchey-as-fuck Instagram “likes” comment. I didn’t realize the University of Alabama was so ratchet these days.