12 Must-Follow Rules for Halloween Costumes and Partying

by 8 years ago

1. Don’t Act Like the Costume
The dude dressed like Jesus in the college cafeteria who asked me to break bread wasn’t funny, he was annoying. Same goes for the drunk kid in a bowling shirt screaming “Winning” like he’s actually Charlie Sheen.

2. Don't Use Too Many Props You Have to Carry
The Rex Ryan costumes last year were great, but they usually involved either a play sheet or a clipboard. How are you going to hold your drink? Drop anything with props and leave the hand(s) open for booze.

3. Don't Be Something That Involves Too Much Explanation
Simple rule of thumb: People should be able to take one look at your costume and get it. Bros with costumes that need explaining are in for a long night. Like the guy who hangs a sign around his neck that says “My dog ate it” and walks with a limp. No one's going to figure out your a “lame excuse,” Bro.

4a. Don't Block Your Face with a Mask
Considerably hurts your chances of scoring, which should be the reason you're out in the first place. Don’t do anything to hurt your odds.

4b. Don't Wear Black Face
Just don't. You can pretend you're Hermain Cain without offending the entire party and getting kicked out of school.

5. Don't Get a Costume So Big You Can't Dance
You’ve seen how chicks dress on Halloween, right? Chances are you're going to want to dance with them.

6. All Costumes Should Be Expendable
If you plan on boozing hard or going to a solid party then make sure you are willing to throw away your costume the next day — or at 3 in the morning. No nice clothes or clothes that you wear regularly. Try to buy new and cheap things because there's no sense in ruining your favorite polo, or a new hoodie because some loser keeps spilling jager everywhere.

7. Use Buffers to Help Decipher a Babe's Costume
That kind of annoying girl that lives on your floor that you’re nice to anyway, the girl from your Marketing class, or a good friend can all be helpful when one of their dimepiece friends is dressed as something you can't quickly figure out. Use them to (quietly) ask what her friend's costume is before approaching her to break the ice. Brownie points are likely rewarded to you if she knows you recognized she was Dorothy, not Little Bo Peep by yourself (or so she thinks).

8. If You Do a Group Costume, Make Sure Everyone Does It Right
Nobody wants to have an Anchorman costume group and have two people as Ron Burgandy or none as Brick Tamland. Although ….

9. Be Authentic But Not Overly Authentic
As J. Camm explains, “If your going as Teen Wolf, don't forgo trimming your nutsack for three months just so your costume can be grossly legit.”

10. Never Be the “It” Costume of the Year
Remember the time your boy was Michael Jackson a couple years ago? That red jacket and white glove he found were pretty spot-on. Then remember when there were 12 other Michael Jacksons at the same party? Not so funny anymore. Every year has its “It” costume. Last year was Kenny Powers, and this year will likely be a split between Charlie Sheen and Occupy Wall Street. Avoid the repetition and be creative.

11. Don’t Be Offensive

Dead celebrities and blatantly sexual costumes (The Shocker, a Penis Wearing a Condom, Dr. Hugh Prick, etc.) usually aren’t as funny to chicks as to Bros. Steer clear of quickly being referred to as “that jerk in the Department of Erections costume” all night long.

12. Do Everything You Can to Win the Best Costume Contest
When all else fails… go for the cash like this guy:

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