The 20 Most DTF Colleges in America

by 4 years ago  •  4 Comments


Sex is an important part of any college experience. Looking back, we can’t remember our classes, our professors, or our grades. What we do remember, however, are our sexual conquests.

We wondered which schools were excelling in hook-up arts, which schools were among the most DTF colleges in America. Here’s what we found.

First off, let’s just get this out of the way: every single person thinks his or her college is the modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, where the bodily fluids flow like wine through idyllic tree-lined campuses. But not all schools are created equal in the doin’ it department.

Some stand out.

New Jersey’s premier university is one mobile bang factory. With a bleak campus reliant on a vast public transportation system, casual encounters are as ubiquitous as gum on a bus seat. The implementation of gender-neutral dorms in 2011 allowed students to bunk with members of the opposite sex. While that may be a recipe for disaster down the road, it facilitates uninterrupted copulation. More power to you guys over there. God knows you could use some good press.

Arizona State 
An absolute no-brainer. Even though the Tempe school’s notorious party-hard reputation has taken a hit in recent years, there’s a perfect storm of sexual activity here. Beautiful people. Warm weather. Jello shots. You don’t have sex at ASU, you fall into it. Why do you think they call themselves Sun Devils? It’s not for being good.

Wait, what is Harvard doing on this list? Well, for one thing, they have an entire week dedicated to sex. This, of course, is the byproduct of highly evolved minds. There’s also apparently a big 50 Shades of Grey thing happening in Cambridge where they’re acting out Eve 6’s unforgettable “tie me to the bedpoooooooost” lyric. Also, Frank from 30 Rock got a squeezer from an Indian chick in a bunk bed while there. Major points for that.{pagebreak}

Fun fact about getting your dick wet in Eugene: Phil Knight has someone paint a Nike swoosh on your ass while thrusting. Allegedly. Also, these girls go there.

When not excelling in basketball, the Storrs campus is getting its freak on. Three of its dorms somehow found their way onto this list of the 25 most sexually active residences in the nation. That’s damn impressive. This first Urban Dictionary entry, however, is not.

East Carolina University
Pirates gonna plunder each other. That’s just science. A recent appearance on Playboy’s list of best party schools has students hot and bothered. We won’t say there isn’t a focus on academics in Greenville, but we think they’re getting their rocks off in other, more fun ways.

Colorado State
Here’s what we like about CSU: They get their bone on, but they do it responsibly. You’ve got to respect that.

Beautiful people inhibit a beautiful campus in a land where excess reigns. Anyone lucky enough to go to school in Austin realizes that it’s a privilege best not wasted.  From what we understand, college down there is a four-year f*ckfest usually reserved for end-of-the-world movies.{pagebreak}

Each and every time we do a college rankings, Wisconsin seems to shine. Every single one of us sorta wishes we’d gone there instead. Sporting a vibrant party culture and Midwesterners dying to escape the Bible Belt, Madison is a petri dish for casual hookups. And hey, people are trading booty for tuition.

Anyone who has ever been to Syracuse during a raging snowstorm knows there’s only one way to stay warm. And it’s by banging the hottie from down the hall.  Don’t believe what you read, the Orange are DTF.

The good news is, they’re having sex. The bad news is, they’re having very unhealthy sex. A real mixed bag here. Try to do better, guys.

New Mexico State
See above. But hey, at least New Mexico State is making headlines!

New York University
When your school is located amid a million sexually liberated young people, it’s hard not to get laid. Considering the cost of tuition, it’s only fair that orgasms are aplenty. Intrepid future leaders, NYU students are also predictably on the cutting edge of random hook-ups.

South Carolina
From the always-reliable College Prowler: “The odds of finding a significant other at USC are really good, just because there are so many options. There are slightly more females than males on campus, but you wouldn’t even be able to tell by walking around campus. While many students date or hook up, the majority of students are not involved in serious, long-term relationships.” Well, that settles it. People are assuredly down to clown.

North Carolina
Playboy gave the Tar Heels the highest of marks for genital-touching arts. We can think of no bigger compliment for a student body to receive. And apparently it’s even better to be a dude on campus because there’s a surplus of women and a shortage of men to fulfill their needs. Whoever is writing the brochure for UNC needs to include this fun fact in unavoidable bold print. Truly a great selling point for an institution of higher learning.

Miami University (Ohio)
Like we’d ever leave them off a list. Do you even realize the hate mail we’d get? You’re the best at everything, Miami! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Plymouth State University
What? You’ve never heard of Plymouth State? The live free or die with a hard dick school in picturesque New Hampshire? Then you’re missing out. They party hard, they hook up without a second thought and they’re not the least bit self-conscious about it.  If having fun were a varsity sport, they’d not only be a D-I school, they’d be in a class all their own.{pagebreak}

University of Southern California
They aren’t called Trojans because they keep it in their pants. A perennial contender in all categories fun, Southern California is the fertile crescent of sun and babes. As we’ve seen, students aren’t opposed to doing their dirty deeds in the bright light of day. And Jesus, these sweaters make us hyperventilate.

Not to be outdone by their archrivals, the Bruins’ student body boasts great empirical findings to support claims everyone’s bumping uglies. That right there is a public service.

While a 10 in Ann Arbor may be a 7 in East Lansing, the Harvard of the Midwest has fostered a happy and healthy climate for regrettable one-night stands. Several other non-scientific studies have claimed this fact, so who are we to disagree?

Disagree with this list? Tell us why. Send us cold, hard facts and we’ll be sure to feature your freaky campus in the future.

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