The Seven Worst Types of College Professors

by 9 years ago

Editor's Note: For BroBible's Back to School Week, our friends at The Fresh Roll wanted to weigh in on the absolute worst types of professors every college student can have. Here's what they came up with…

Everyone’s had a bad professor. Some just sit there and drone on for an hour and a half, some have accents so bad you can’t understand a single thing they say. Either way, everyone has dealt with an awful professor at least once throughout their college years. It sucks. You have to go to this class twice a week just to listen to this person talk like he is a robot about Babylonian history in some B.S. class you don’t want to take in the first place. Check out the list below of the seven worst types of college professors and head over to The Fresh Roll for more daily back-to-school freshness.

Professor Monotone

How is it possible that your voice does not change over the course of one hour and 50 minutes? That is the question that I really want to ask during your office hours. Tired or not, when you step in to Professor Monotone’s lecture hall, you’ll feel like a newborn baby. Within a few minutes you’ll be out cold and it doesn’t matter that there is a kid sitting next to you who smells like he hasn’t showered in a few days. Professor Monotone always seems to get the job teaching antiquities or history. Guess it’s a requirement for the job.

Professor “Where are you from?”

Seriously, where are you from? That accent is killing me bro, I can’t understand anything you are saying. O.K., I might not actually be trying learn Statistics but when you talk with the heaviest accent I have ever heard in my life, it just completely turns me off. Oh really, you were born in China and just started to learn English last year? How did you even get your job? Professor “Where Are You From?” is definitely one of the worst ones to get. Good luck learning about Russian history when your professor, who just moved over here from Russian yesterday, tries to teach it.

Professor “Tangent”

Professor “Tangent” has a story for everything that he teaches. Learning about the Great Wall of China? Well, did you know that Professor “Tangent” climbed it two years ago with his buddies from Maine? And that one of them almost fell off, before this really nice Great Wall of China security officers grabbed his hand as he was falling off the side? Speaking of sides, he got this great mashed potato side dish at Ruth's Chris last night. Gonna be a fun semester.

The Hippie

Pray you don’t have to take a political science class, because you know damn well that you’re getting The Hippie as your professor. Get ready to hear about the 60s and 70s and how it was the greatest time in the world. Hey prof, you smoked a little weed when you were younger? I smoke weed every night and watch re-runs of “Full House.” Spread love, not war. Better get accustomed to hearing that little phrase thrown around the room a few times. Oh, and of course all of the over-achiever hipsters from high school definitely heard about this professor and how he's is so great, so get ready to have to deal with those kids. They're the worst.

Professor Cheap

Professor Cheap spent the last 20 years writing the textbook for his class, which obviously is a requirement to purchase. What’s the book going to cost you? Irrelevant. The fact is that Professor Cheap is most likely giving a back story just to con you into thinking his book is legit, when in fact it is shit. The only reason he wrote it is so his 1,000 students per year all have to buy it, and he can cash in and go buy that yacht he’s always wanted.

Professor “I’m a TA who is going to act like a Professor”


Did you really make a syllabus for the discussion class that you teach? Wow. Guess you really do have some free time on your hands this semester. Obviously it doesn’t matter that this TA, who is max five years older than you, hasn’t even earned the status to be called Professor. They's still going to walk the walk and talk the talk. Mandatory attendance? Yep. This is a discussion. Didn’t I see you out last weekend at a bar throwing up on yourself after two apple martinis? Yep, that was you.

The Feminist

“You can also see in this film how women are depicted as completely dependent on men and how they are totally taken advantage of.” What? The Feminist professor always seems to find some way in which females are being put in bad light. C'mon, chill out with that. I’d almost rather have the “where are you from” professor than The Feminist, just so I don’t have to listen to those outlandish rants about women in a liberal arts or social science class. You thought having to sit through a discussion-based liberal arts course is bad enough. It's even worse when you have a feminist standing up there at the podium, casting judgment and wrath on every male in the classroom for being born with testicles.

Sound off in the comments about the type of professor you can't stand…