Three Controversial Tips Regarding Black Bros in Boarding Schools
Editor's Note: This is the latest piece from BroBible's senior black Bro correspondent, BrohammadAli. Also, I know Jamal in “Finding Forrester,” above, went to an NYC prep school, and not boarding school, but there aren't a lot of boarding school movies featuring black Bros, so this was the best I could do. Hollywood, get on it.
Having attended one of your New England prepster academies myself for four years, I can safely say that I’m well tuned to the game. Now, when I say game, realize that I mean this in the most serious of terms. Whether you have accepted it or not, boarding school is its own game that some people get, and others don’t. Those others usually are the ones who order Flesh Lights online with their mother’s credit card (because it “feels like the real thing I swear”) and skip school not to get drunk or high, but to play World of Warcraft. Boarding schools can seriously make you do some weird, f*cked up things.
Moving forward, those of you that have attended these schools know that there are a small, but very dynamic group of African Americans at each one, and, in each group, your select few black Bros, of which I was once one. Now, when I use the term “black Bro” I don’t mean only those black kids on the lax team, though they are usually included. No, I mean black Bro in a way that is only slightly, though sometimes questionably, not different from his counterpart, the white Bro. Black Bros are easy going and must be, for they are not only surrounded by white bros and hoes 24/7, but somewhat shunned by the rest of the black community. So, when dealing with black bros, though they can be calm and easy going, here are three quick tips on some controversial issues that you may want to keep in mind.
1. Remember that they are still black.
You know how I just said that black Bros are easy going? Take that with a grain of salt. ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember that black Bros, though they might seem perfectly white on the outside, still have some black reserved in them somewhere underneath those polos. Black bros ALWAYS reserve the right to wild out like any other African American, don’t forget that.?
2. Black Bros always reserve the right to freak out about the “N” word.
Somewhat similar to my last point, though I need to stress the specificity of this issue. The gray area of the “N” word will always remain gray, no matter what social group. Though you may sometimes be driving along with your black Bro bumping Lil’ Wayne and you occasionally let the word slip mid-song without him saying anything, remember this: At any one time he could, and to him justifiably so, still freak out at you. It may be that he just recently got mad about something else and is only venting out his anger on you but still, that’s an option he can take.
3. The fried-chicken jokes are outdated.
Since the new developments of KFC's grilled chicken (a copout in my opinion, but that’s for another day) and the Double Down, all races have come together, able to find SOMETHING that they like at this fine establishment. Having said that, please refrain from the fried chicken jokes. I received my fair share in the early 2000s when they were in style, but now, everybody has realized that chicken is just dank and everyone likes it. The bar has been set higher on ways to make fun of your black Bros. Though watermelon is always in the picture, you may have to find some new outlets.