University of Florida Pike Rush Document Leaks, and They’re Really, Really Concerned with the Hotness of Future Brothers

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Finally, here are some bros who know that picking new friends based off concepts like “compatibility” and “friendliness” is totally gay. You pick ’em because of their glistening pecs, shredded tris, and lifted trucks. Brah.

TFM uncovered a leaked recruitment cheat sheet from the University of Florida’s Pike chapter today. Nearly every potential member is described as “jacked” or “shredded,” with one dude getting bonus points for “never wearing a shirt;” it’s only the repeated mentions of “slamming pussy” that keep the document from looking like a casting call for a gay porno. (I kid.)

Here are some highlights.

He’s the kinda guy who won’t go to the gym in a shirt with sleeves. He’s literally just like me, that’s why we’re best friends lol. WE NEED THIS K

Tool, lifted truck, pike material…Girls always text him first.

High girlfriend makes me nut in my dreams.

Etc.

Click to expand:

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[H/T: TFM]