People Shared Their Worst College Roommate Horror Stories And Man, People Are Psychos
College roommates can either be really awesome or really horrible. They rarely fall anywhere in between. Of course the awesome ones can become lifelong friends, but the horrible ones give us the best stories to tell. That’s where the responses to this question “What are your worst college roommate horror stories?” on “Ask Reddit” posed by KeanusDracula comes into play.
Sure, lifelong friends are nice, but a story you can tell for the rest of your life? Those are just as priceless.
Freshman year is always the hardest. My first roommate came from a party family and wanted to continue the tradition at school. I would wake up to her fucking random dudes or loudly masturbating whilst drunk (she would sometimes throw up when orgasming). The worst part was, she cared about her fellow partiers. Every night when she went out, she would get smashed but would find people worse off than her. If they couldn’t find their home or communicate, she’d drop them back at our tiny dorm room and go back to parties for another few hours – if she came back at all. The bad part was my bed wasn’t lofted originally, so every night I’d wake up to people getting into bed with me and have to put them to sleep elsewhere.
The worst it ever was when she dropped off a pledge who had triple what he should have to drink and had dropped some molly. He was all over the place and I was afraid to leave him to sleep. She didn’t come back that night. All night was spent carrying this guy back and forth to the girls only restroom so he could try to sober up. He was pretty fucked up well into the next day. Eventually he was good to go home and I walked him to his dorm across campus. When I returned home, there was my roommate, furiously drunk masturbating again.
Why would you do that Carol?!? I just wanted sleep! ~ leatherglitterlace
He had a girl over and I was like “ok whatever this is college.”
I asked him not to make to much noise as I had an exam in the morning, so I went to bed.
Woke up at 2 am with a heavy set black guy over my bed saying “Airnova I am your fairy black godmother.”
They thought it’d be funny to invite people over and fuck with me, it’s okay though I looked at his girl (who he’s been dating) and informed her of his current going long distance relationship and went back to bed. ~ AirNova
I had a roommate my first year in college who wanted to be my best friend. Before we met other people it was great and all, but because we had nothing in common, we grew apart. She started getting really passive-aggressive and not talking to me when I came in the room. One night she woke me up at 3 AM and said “we need to talk.” She proceeded to explain how she “signed up to have a best friend” not someone who just “shared a room with her.” She got angry when I didn’t invite her to study with me in the library because I had my own work to do, and even when I wanted to go on a date with my boyfriend alone. She told me either I start doing everything with her or I move the fuck out. I chose the latter. ~ whoops519
Roommate started selling cocaine out of the dorm room. Halfway through the first semester my laptop “went missing”, ironically found it on eBay within 10 minutes with him as the seller. Called the cops when I got him get kicked out. Fun stuff. ~ Kopman
One of our roommates opened the phone bill to see a $4700 bill. Other roommate was pocketing our money and not paying the bill. When confronted he said it was our fault because we were being hostile with him when we confronted him. ~ dblan9
Towards the end of the year I walked in on my roommate jerking off a LOT; up to three times on some days.
It got to the point where I’d pretend to yell to my friends down the hall things like “I’ll be there in a minute. Let me just grab something from my room real quick” just to buy him a few seconds of time to close out of his tabs (he’d watch porn at his desk right in front of the door) and pull his pants on.
Sadly that stopped working when he started wearing headphones…..
EDIT: Since everyone keeps asking “Why didn’t you knock” it was because I never formally addressed the situation, and didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for knocking every time I went in. He was generally pretty quick when I went in my room to cover himself up and close out of the tab and act like nothing happened, so I did the same. I would walk in, he’d exit out of his porn and cover himself (generally with like a hoodie or something) so I would walk in, grab something, and head out never acknowledged that I noticed. For all he knows I’m super oblivious and he was “close” to getting caught a lot.
Plus I didn’t want to knock every time I wanted to go to my room. That’s just crazy. ~ YesLikeTheJeans