How CBD Gummies Saved Me From Pissing Myself Before Giving A Wedding Speech

by 2 months ago
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Sunday Scaries


Brought to you in partnership with Sunday Scaries CBD Gummies

It may be best to illustrate my newfound love for CBD gummies with a short biographical tale about conquering fear.

I had the honor of officiating my friends’ wedding in the great state of Delaware back in August. Along with the standard officiating duties, I was asked to give a speech at the reception dinner. It’s not the first wedding speech I’ve given (hold the applause for Mr. Big Shot!), but for whatever reason I was particularly nervous about this one. Maybe it’s because it was a massive 250 person wedding. Maybe it’s because I committed to memorizing three pages of written material. Maybe it’s because I put on 10 pounds of pure fat this summer (thanks day drinking!) and college friends who remember me at my physical peak would be in attendance. Maybe, just maybe, I just don’t fucking have it anymore.

Whatever it was, I knew excessive practice in the mirror and a couple glasses of whiskey wouldn’t be enough to spook away the nerves.

I confided my trepidation with an old friend, Pete, whose seemingly been in state of complete zen for three decades. The only way I can describe this particular friend is in this way: if the Titanic were going down, this dude would continue to play the violin in perfect D minor while I hurled myself into the giant propeller. Cool is his superpower. Always has been.

After I spilled my insecurities to Pete, he offered me a wry smile, reached in his sport coat pocket and handed me two gummy bears before confidently saying:

“Take these an hour before showtime, I take them for work before big presentations at work and they scare away the demons.”

Pete you have a job? I wondered aloud.

He laughed, unaware that I was only half kidding.

I knew right away the gummies he handed me were CBD-infused. I’ve taken them to decompress and popped a couple while I’m out drinking and have had only good experiences. But did I really want to pop these without full knowledge of how they’d affect me? Add another variable in an already terrifying sea of unknowns?

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The answer was yes. Because it came from Pete. That dude could have thrown Drano ice cubs in my drink and I would have guzzled it.

So I did as the doctor prescribed and chewed the two gummies at the very beginning cocktail hour. And after an hour and a couple glasses of white wine, the shortness of breath and constant ‘what if I fuck this up?’ thoughts that swoop in like clockwork directly before every speech I’ve ever given never came. I was cool as a cucumber. I had channeled my inner Pete and was ready to grab a violin and start playing. Not today would I decapitate myself on a ship propeller.

How did the speech go, the one person who’s still reading this asks: I’ve never been one to brag but lets just say the father of the bride asked for a written copy of the speech and the grooms mom gave me a hug that can most aptly be described as ‘sexual.’

I don’t know how much I should credit CBD gummies with putting my nerves at bay, but I will say that I’m popping two of those bad boys before every nerve-wracking undertaking I have going forward.

If you’d like to read about the actual benefits of CBD–why they’re a magical hangover cure, or an every day stress reliever, or a perfect remedy for the sunday scaries, click on those links and you’ll become a believer.

For those in the know, cop yourself a bottle of the premier CBD brand, Sunday Scaries.

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