Are you in the market for a five-bedroom suburban home with two and a half bathrooms? But also want a sex dungeon? Boy, today your lucky day! The innocuous McAllister family-looking house seen above appears just like any other boring old house in an affluent suburban neighborhood. But inside there is a secret sex dungeon. I have not seen this in an episode of House Hunters.
The home at 1612 Norristown Road in Maple Glen, Pennsylvania, comes with some great selling features. According to the Redfin listing (which has since deleted the BDSM room photos) by real estate agent Melissa Leonard, the house comes with three fireplaces, indoor.outdoor speaker system, tumbled marble backsplash, granite countertops, custom gazebo, and hardwood floors throughout. The home is being sold furnished, which is an important detail since that means you’ll get some beautiful rugs, a pool table, and all of the BDSM equipment in the sex dungeon located in the basement.
In a quiet suburb of Philadelphia, you can nab yourself a cozy home for you and your family that also happens to come furnished with a complete sex dungeon. Great for entertaining, maybe not so great for hosting Thanksgiving. Let’s look at the home with photos from Realtor.com shall we?
A huge backyard for entertaining with plenty of space for kids and dogs to play. You could even think about adding an inground pool.
This is the most bland, normal dining room in the history of bland, normal dining rooms.
That’s a cozy living room with a brick fireplace and nice big windows to usher in the natural light.
Beautiful granite countertops and gorgeous kitchen cabinets accompanied by stainless steel appliances.
Wait. What. Is that a wooden star to tie down someone for sexual gratification by way of flagellation?
Those aren’t monkey bars kids. I don’t want to know why the garbage can is so enormous.
You have to appreciate the assortment of whips, chains, and fists at your disposal. Nice staging though.
While this is a f*ck dungeon, you have to appreciate the elegant touches such as animal rugs, medieval man-at-arms, as well as the plants to breathe life into the room.
If the sex dungeon wasn’t enough pain and torture for you, the taxes are $17,299. “I was like, OK, he’s got this little pleasure garden going on down here,” said real estate agent Melissa Leonard. R. Kelly, is this your crib?
The 50 Shades of Grey home could be all yours for $750,000, which comes with the sex dungeon, which is a bargain because who wants to go through all of the rigamarole of assembling and installing your own BDSM playground in your house?
The home had been available to rent on Airbnb, where they charged $500 a night (as much as $2,000 since going viral), but the listing has been taken down after the home went viral. The home does still have its own Instagram page titled “MaisonXS” where they show photos of the home that hurts at first, but then feels good for all the right reasons.
Okay, the whips are one thing, but an Eagles hat is not the kind of torture that anyone should be subjected to.
Sure it’s swell to have a wooden star to tie down your lover before you whip them until they yell the safe word of “nutter butter.” But I bet after about five BDSM sessions you’ll get bored of it and the next thing you’ll know is that you’ll be hanging previously worn, but not really dirty sweatshirts and jeans on the wooden torture star.
Some questions. Will there be an open house? Will prospective buyers be able to test out ALL aspects of the home? Why did the owners not take their f*ck swings and whips with them? Does the sex dungeon get sprayed down with bleach after every session? Who knew you could put “Sex Dungeon” in your box of wants when searching for real estate? I’m just shocked that there are only two full bathrooms for a five-bedroom house.
Probably the most scandalous thing about this real estate listing is the completely nonsensical location of this bed. I mean, what an absolute waste of space.