This Rescue Dog With The World’s Longest Tongue Will Make You Forget About How Crappy This Week Has Been

Awful week. Just bottom of the barrel week. I can’t look at my News Feed without being overcome with anxiety and debilitating sadness. I don’t let enough joy into my life. And that changes today, expedited by this rescued Saint Bernard named Mochi.

Mochi recently secured herself a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the “longest dog tongue” on the planet. Mochi’s licker measures 7.3 inches from snout to tip or, in other words, four of your penises. Just kidding, bro, this positivity thing is a work in progress.

Mochi was abused and neglected for the first two years of her life, but found a loving home with South Dakotan (word?) couple Carla and Craig Rickert. FUCK YA MOCHI!

Hey while we’re at it, lets venture down the doggie tongue rabbit hole.

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Ok I feel better now.

Jesus Christ.

[h/t Mashable]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.