Paramount+
So, Paramount+ unleashed what amounts to a multimedia blitzkrieg yesterday, as they announced their massive slate of content for their upcoming launch. The best word I can use to describe the day was overwhelming, as not only were a bevy of projects announced but many of them are direct products of nostalgia, with Paramount diving deep into their library (particularly from the 90s) to prop up their new streaming service.
One of those reboots or revival or re-what-the-fuck-evers is this Satan-spawned CGI Rutgrats series that appears to be crafted from the finest, purest, most uncut Nightmare Fuel, representing merely the latest in a long line of clues that suggest Hell itself is slow enveloping our world. It won’t be long now until the Sun’s gone completely. Maybe it’s Mephisto! That’s a WandaVision joke in a Rugrats article for those at home keeping score. Having ourselves a hell of a Thursday over here.
Here’s the official synopsis for this undercover, real-life version of the videotape from The Ring revitalized cartoon, courtesy (?) of Paramount+:
Tommy, Angelica, Chuckie and the rest of the Rugrats gang are back for an all-new, CG-animated series on Paramount+! Settle into your high chairs for this exciting first look at the show, which continues the tale of toddlers from the classic Nickelodeon ’90s hit. Then, get ready to reunite with the iconic group of babies – voiced by members of the original cast – as they embark on a new batch of epic adventures!
Maybe I’m being too “old man who yells at cloud” about this one, who knows? To be honest with you, I don’t remember being all that crazy about Rugrats when I was a kid. Since we’re on a roll here, got another scorching hot take coming at ya, fresh off the press: Fairly Odd Parents (which Paramount+ announced would be getting an equally-horrifying LIVE-ACTION “reimagining”) is vastly superior to SpongeBob SquarePants. There, I said it. As the great Jim Carrey once said in the 1997 classic Liar, Liar (and also some other guy in some old book, I don’t know): the truth shall set you free.
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