We live in a digital world, and that comes with risks. As groups like Anonymous and people like Lisbeth Salander grow stronger and more capable of hacking into our daily lives, you never know which of your devices might be used against you. Turns out, even your wifi-enabled genital lock is now vulnerable to outside control.
This risk was recently identified by U.K.-based security firm Pen Test Partners, who said a flaw in the Qiui Cellmate internet-connected chastity lock could leave the toy vulnerable to hackers who could easily take over and put a user’s genitals on indefinite lockdown.
“We discovered that remote attackers could prevent the Bluetooth lock from being opened, permanently locking the user in the device,” the security firm wrote in a blog post. “There is no physical unlock.”
This, according to Pen Test Partners, means users who fall victim to hackers and get stuck in the toy may have to take “an angle grinder or other suitable heavy tool” to the area in order to free themselves.
*Googles “angle grinder*
Ah, nope. Not for me. The thrill of having my genitals on lockdown isn’t worth the risk of needing the jaws of life to spring me free from the clutches of some computer wizard in Denmark. I’ll stick with my lululemon briefs and the freedom to urinate at my own discretion, thank you.
Last thing: is this lock thing really a toy? Can we call this a toy? In my limited mind, sex toys are colorful, dimpled, ribbed, floppy, inviting. Anything that can also keep your storage locker safe isn’t exactly a “toy,” but what do I know.