10 Things You Didn’t Know About James Bond… Shaken, Not Stirred

by 8 years ago

The Name's Bond, Go Ahead. Make My Day.

Way before Clint Eastwood was yellin' at chairs in front of Republicans, he was Hollywood's ultimate man's man. He was not to be f**ked with. He's had a face that looks like you could sand steel down on for decades. The man was Dirty Harry. In fact, he's so tough that he was offered the role of Bond and turned it down, because he knew that Bond should be played by a British guy.

So, George Lazenby's a Badass

We've all had that dream. The dream of simply finding an uber sweet gig and lying our ass off to get it. That's exactly what George Lazenby did to land the role of the most famous covert operative on the planet. He made up a fake resume, filled to the brim with roles he hadn't actually played. He impressed the powers that be so much, they let him take on the role in the 1969 Bond classic 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service.'

That's A Girl's Gun, Bro

James Bond is the epitomy of manliness. He's always having to kick asses and faces in. He is always saving ladies from certain doom and promptly visiting their baby bunkers. This overt manliness came into question when a fan who was also a weapons expert told Bond creator Ian Fleming that the gun he carried–the Beretta 418 was actually a girl's gun. Fleming then gave bond his dude-card back and armed him with his now famous Walther PPK.

Sean Connery Pissed Off Steven Seagal

Many Bond fans will tell you that Sean Connery was their favorite Bond of all time. He played the character in several of the films. Connery had to learn Martial Arts for his portrayal of Bond in 'Never Say Never Again.' His instructor was none other than the immortal Stephen Seagal. One day during their training session Connery pushed Seagal a little too far, enraging him. Seagal did the only thing he could think of to get revenge… he broke Sean's wrist.

James Bond Was Extremely Busy

Anyone who has ever watched a Bond movie, understands that James Bond is kept busy by 3 activities. He stops diabolical plans. He murders the shit outta bad guys. And he plows vaginas like each one will be the last. With all that going on, has anyone ever kept track of some of the figures? Yes. Yes, we have. James Bond has killed 150 men and made the sexuals with 44 women since 1962's 'Dr. No.' Sorry about all that semen in that blood puddle, Money Penny.

Windsor Knots are for Douche Bags

James Bond was a master spy in the field. He was a bit quirky. He preferred his drinks shaken, not stirred. And if you were the kind of asshole who thinks a Windsor knot is the way to go with your tie… Bond would never trust you. He absolutely distrusts anyone who wears their tie in a Windsor knot.

James Bond is Character 007 on IMDB

The iconic agent numbers that Bond is known for are synonymous with his name. IMDB understands AND respects this. James Bond is actually character number 007 on their database. Oh, IMDB… must you always be so clever?

Does The Toupee Have a Laser Cleverly Disguised in it? How About a Blow Torch?

Bond was an eternal ladies' man in all of his film and book appearances. He SLAAAAYED tail constantly. In fact, Bond's boner getting in on the action was so vital to the mythos of the character, that Sean Connery was made to wear a toupee when he played Bond… since nothing makes a vagina recoil in horror quite like a balding man.

Ian Fleming Also Wrote 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'

After all the boozin, shootin' and bonin' James Bond got himself into, it's a huge surprise to find that the same guy who penned the Bond stories was also responsible for a timeless children's classic. It's true though. Ian Fleming also wrote 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.' He might have done it laughing the whole time that he got away with using the word “bang” for the main character.

James Bond Was Named After a Zoologist 

The name James Bond has taken it's place as pretty much the coolest name ever. It's got a real nice ring to it. Where did this name come from? Was it some super soldier that Ian Fleming was friends with? NOPE! Turns out James Bond was named after a zoologist who was really into birds. Yep, birds.

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